


The Art of Moving On

by ranchangrnl



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Angst, College, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Relationship Struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-02-17 16:12:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2315588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranchangrnl/pseuds/ranchangrnl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re my first everything,” Teddy blurted out. “You’re the only person I’ve ever been with since I was sixteen. And, you know, most people don’t find Mr. Right at sixteen. You’re heading to Boston and I’m staying here. Maybe… maybe what we need… is space.”</p><p>The silence that settled between them felt like a vacuum, sucking the air out of Teddy’s lungs. He watched Billy’s face, trying to read it but the emotions moved so fast that it was difficult to tell just what he was feeling. Suddenly, the tension left Billy’s body like air escaping a balloon. He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets.</p><p>“I guess,” he said softly. “If that’s what you want. I guess… it makes sense.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Season of Change

**Author's Note:**

> Incredible thanks to Breila_Rose - without you, I'd have none of this in my life.

Teddy never knew what it was they were fighting about anymore.

He thought that everything would be better after New Years. And it was better, for a little while at least. Then he noticed that Billy started to close himself off as school started to wind down. Mrs. Kaplan had insisted that they at least finish their last year of high school, even if the world had been turned on it’s head for half a year. Tommy wanted none of it and opted to get his GED, finishing in record time, but Billy’s parents had a dream of a large graduation ceremony, of watching their oldest child walk across the stage and getting his diploma. It was difficult and stressful, pushing them both hard until one day Billy snapped at him.

It had been over something innocuous. Teddy had finished his paper on Macbeth for Mrs. Snyder’s Shakespearean Lit class and decided to take a break by visiting Billy. He was in his room, sitting on his bed with his nose bent furiously over his laptop. Teddy frowned, noticing the stress in Billy’s shoulders. He sat down behind him, his hands sliding over his tense back, lightly kneading the muscles as he kissed the back of Billy’s neck. 

“You should take a break,” he murmured softly. “You’ve been working so hard.”

Instead of relaxing beneath his strong hands, Billy tensed, his shoulders curling in on him. “What are you doing?” he said, a touch of frustration in his voice.

Teddy felt confused. “What do you mean? You looked like you needed a break.”

“I'm working,” Billy replied with a frown, shrugging his shoulders. Teddy’s arms slipped back to his sides. “I can’t be distracted right now. Just… come back later.”

“Oh, right, sure,” Teddy said, giving a short laugh as he shifted off the bed. A weird tension seemed to fill the air and he stood there, trying to figure out just what was different. Had he done something? Said something? 

“I can’t concentrate when you stare at me,” Billy sighed, rubbing his eyes before looking up at Teddy. He could see the dark circles under Billy’s eyes and it startled him, reminding him of old memories, of days when Billy couldn’t get out of bed and the world was gray, reflecting Billy’s mood.

“Are you ok?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

“I’d be more ok if you’d let me finish this,” Billy said softly, turning back to the computer. “You need to stop clinging to me, T. I don’t need to be checked on every five seconds like a child, you know.”

“What are you talking about?” Teddy asked, feeling as though he had just walked into the middle of a conversation.  
“Nothing,” Billy shrugged. “Just forget I said anything.”

Something was very wrong. Teddy could sense it, almost hear it like a hissing snake in the corner waiting to strike. Billy was upset at _him_ and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out _why_. He could let the issue drop, walk out of the room but he had promised that he wouldn’t walk away again. That made up his mind – he wasn’t going to drop it this time.

“No, I’m not just going to forget it,” Teddy pushed. “You’re angry with me.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Billy snorted sarcastically. “Johnny, tell the contestant what he’s won.”

“Stop it, this is serious,” Teddy frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “I didn’t think we were going to do this anymore. Just tell me what it is.”

“It’s nothing,” Billy insisted. “Or it would be nothing if you’d stop acting like I'm about to break into a million pieces or suddenly lose my grip and maybe wipe out all of existence.”

Teddy stared at Billy, his mouth open in astonishment. “I… I don’t think… that’s not what…”

“Right, and that’s why this is the fifth damned time you’ve checked on me in two hours,” Billy said with a frown. “Don’t think I don’t hear you and Tommy whispering about me. Don’t think I don’t see the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention. I’m not going to lose it, Teddy. I'm just stressed out and I fucking _hate_ cramming Pre-Calc on top of College Applications, ok? So just back off, T.”

“Billy, I-”

Billy’s hand lifted and a blue light followed by a strong pressure appeared on Teddy’s chest. God, he was using _magic_ on him? But it was just a barrier – a soft push to indicate Billy wanted him out the door. Teddy frowned. 

“Fine,” he said angrily. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

“Whatever.” Billy said and the moment Teddy was out in the hallway, the door shut with a loud snap and a blue light shimmered from beneath the door. 

Teddy was worried about Billy, but the worry was justified. Billy’s magic was far more powerful than even he could wrap his brain around. He was afraid of what the stress of a normal teenage boy would do to someone with unlimited powers, with the ability to wish every answer to every single test and have the strength to resist the temptation. He didn’t know how to help Billy and that was what he talked to Tommy about during the times that Billy’s twin visited with the Kaplans. But he didn’t deserve to be treated like that, not by Billy, and the anger ate at him, creating a small lump in his belly.

The fights grew more heated after that, the lump of anger suddenly coating itself with frustration and resentment until it felt like lead, weighing him down. Nothing he could do was ever good enough and Billy’s flippant attitude towards his powers was even worse. Teddy wanted him to be careful, wanted him to be safe but Billy always seemed to be more and more angry, insisting that Teddy stop treating him like a child.

Over and over again they would end up in the same argument. Teddy always felt he was on the wrong page with Billy, not knowing what was going to set him off. It was in May, just before the boys graduated that Teddy picked up his first self-help book, needing some answers. He felt he was going _crazy_ , that his head was turned in five different directions and he needed to do _something_ before he lost it entirely.

His mom had always trusted in the power of a good self-help book. It was either look through the bookstore to find something of use or go to a therapist and Teddy _really_ wasn’t in the mood to try that again. The last one left invisible scars.

His fingers slid over the spines of the glossy, brightly colored books with amusing names: The World Doesn’t Care About You: What Now?, Five Ways to Love Your Furniture: Love the Space You’re In, So you Think You’re a Mutant: Six Ways of Coming Out. Teddy was tempted to take a picture of them and send them to Billy, but he stopped, remembering why he was here. None of these books were going to help him. It was stupid to think that he could define his problems by one small book.

He walked through the comic section on his way to the coffee shop, deciding to check out the next issue of the Incredible Hulk (because, let’s face it, even though Teddy now knew the anguish and sacrifice of being a superhero, he still was addicted to the ridiculous plot lines and story twists of the comics) when a bright blue title caught his eye:

Star-Crossed Loves: What To Do When Your Signals Are Galaxies Apart

Teddy stopped, the swirl of stars on the cover reminding him so much of Billy’s Wiccan costume, only Billy’s reflected the true universe while this was just a picture. He walked over to the book and picked it up, flipping through the pages before turning it over to read the cover:

“From the best-selling author of _Men are from The Skrull Empire, Women are from Kree_ and _Ten Ways to A Better Hero Name_ , _Star-Crossed Loves_ takes a new look at those on again, off again relationships. Do you constantly feel as though you’re having two different conversations? Does your partner suddenly feel like a stranger? Inside _Star-Crossed Loves_ , Dr. Key provides you with all the answers to life’s biggest question of all: when do I know that it’s over?”

He felt as though he had just been punched in the stomach. If there was ever a book that screamed “Read this, Theodore Altman, and Solve Your Problems!” this was it, but, that last question was one he’d never considered. He didn’t want to consider it, not after he promised Billy. They’d tried the break and it didn’t work. But, maybe the book had other insights, other tips that would help him figure out what was going on between him and Billy. 

He glanced at the title again and decided that this was the one. This was the book that was going to help untangle the mess his life had become over the last few months. For the first time in weeks he felt _good_ , as though he hit a turning point. He was going to fix things with Billy or break his head trying.

Over the next few weeks he was absorbed in the book. Every chapter just made so much _sense_ to him. The more he read, the more he saw the glaring problems between him and Billy. He was too clingy, needy and the fact that Billy was his first and his only _everything_ probably led to their co-dependence. No wonder they were having trouble communicating! They were far too close, to intertwined and the best way to deal with this… the best solution to reclaim his identity and finally be able to love Billy in a healthy, supportive way was…

 _”...space is required in every relationship started in the early teens. Life needs to be explored as an individual if the individuals are ever to reconnect in a healthy, mature relationship._ ”

Crap.

There were other tips, different advice that Teddy would follow and he _tried_ , but every single time he attempted to “show his appreciation” or “play hard to get, your partner will feel confident from the chase” it always seemed to be wrong. At each failed attempt he flipped through the pages, landing on that last line. “Life needs to be explored as an individual…”

But he didn’t want to do that, not again. The last time he left it was terrible, and not just because he ended up being someones literal furniture. Being without Billy had felt like living in a fog. He didn’t want to do it again but, the book made sense. Maybe they should take a break. Maybe it would be for the best.

It was August now, nine months since they had defeated Mother and Billy was moving to Boston. He needed to get away from the city, he had said when the acceptance letter came in. Needed a change of scene and his Dad had always raved about Boston U. Teddy had been happy for him, truly, but Boston wasn’t the school for him. NYU offered flexible online courses that made it easy to set up his schedule to fit around any Avenger emergency that were to come up. 

“You should take some art classes,” Billy said, in one of the rare moments that they weren’t driving each other up the wall.

“It’s just doodles,” Teddy shrugged. “Art takes study and time. I don’t really have that, not when I’m going out every night.”

“The world can wait, T,” Billy said with a smile. “Do something for you for a change. Take the art classes. At least one. Promise?”

“Sure,” Teddy said, leaning in to kiss him. “Promise.”

The peace didn’t last long. Another misunderstanding a few days later and they were shouting at each other again. They were moving out: Billy packing for Boston, Teddy for an apartment with Tommy close to the University. Teddy didn’t know what started it, a word said out of context, old hurts brushed open by careless phrases, until the word spilled out of him.

“I think we need some space.”

Billy narrowed his eyes at him. “What do you mean ‘space’? Are you… are you breaking up with me? _Again_?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Teddy stammered, running his palm over his forehead as he tried to gather his thoughts. “It’s just we’ve been fighting since March. It hasn’t felt the same since New Years if you’re honest with yourself and maybe… maybe there’s a reason.”

“What’s the reason?” Billy demanded, his arms crossed over his chest. “Please, tell me, because it sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“I don’t know,” Teddy said sharply. “If I knew, I’d know how to fix it. But I don’t know, Billy, and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells or hitting my head on a brick wall.”

“Wear a hard hat,” Billy replied, his voice sulky. 

It was so difficult for Teddy not to laugh at that. “Look, it’s not bad. And I’m not _doubting_ that I’m real or that you’re manipulating me.”

“This time,” Billy mumbled, causing Teddy to recoil a bit. 

“That’s part of it,” Teddy pointed out. “You haven’t forgiven me, not really and I can feel it every time we’re together. The point is…”

Teddy trailed off, still reeling from Billy’s words. How was it that two little words could send his head spinning as if he had been punched? Billy’s tongue was sharp and he knew how to use it.

“Well? What’s the point?” Billy prompted, still scowling at him. Teddy searched for something to say, anything and his mind grasped on the book. He had read it so many times that he practically had it memorized.

“You’re my first everything,” Teddy blurted out. “You’re the only person I’ve ever been with since I was sixteen. And, you know, most people don’t find Mr. Right at sixteen. You’re heading to Boston and I’m staying here. Maybe… maybe what we need… is space.”

The silence that settled between them felt like a vacuum, sucking the air out of Teddy’s lungs. He watched Billy’s face, trying to read it but the emotions moved so fast that it was difficult to tell just what he was feeling. Suddenly, the tension left Billy’s body like air escaping a balloon. He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I guess,” he said softly. “If that’s what you want. I guess… it makes sense.”

Teddy hadn’t expected that response. He was partially relieved and yet, a sadness crept into his chest at the realization that Billy had given in so quickly. There was no fight, no accusation that Teddy had promised never to leave again. There was just the quiet acceptance and the agreement that it all “made sense”.

“It does,” Teddy nodded, feeling numb. “We’ve been together for so long that maybe we’ve forgotten how to be ourselves. I love you, but I don’t want to be a half of a whole. Who really meets their soul mate at sixteen?”

It was all lines from the book. Teddy was practically quoting it word for word and he hoped that Billy understood. Instead, he turned his head, looking away. Teddy couldn’t see his eyes. but he nodded. “Yeah, right,” he said with another shrug. “Who, indeed.”

Teddy reached out and grabbed Billy’s hand before Billy could escape. He squeezed it hard and gave him a half smile. “We’re still friends,” he said, needing _something_. He didn’t want to cut off ties completely. Space was one thing but losing Billy completely was too hard. “We’ll always be friends.”

Billy turned, the sad look on his face difficult to ignore and he pulled his fingers from Teddy’s hand. “That’s not how it works, T,” he said, his voice incredibly sad. “Space means space. Maybe it’s better if we see other people, make new friends. Isn’t that what ‘finding our Mr. Right” is all about?”

Teddy stood feeling that numbness seep through his entire body. “Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I guess that’s how it works.”

“You live your life, I’ll live mine,” Billy said, looking away from Teddy once more. “Next week I’ll be headed to Boston. You picked the perfect time to do this, you know?”

Teddy opened his mouth to say that he wasn’t sure this was what he wanted but Billy had already given him a small smile before leaving the room. There was nothing else to say. This was good, wasn’t it? This would stop the fighting and then he could clear his head, find himself and be a better person for Billy. It should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. It felt like a dark cloud settled over his head.

The next week, the day before Billy left for Boston, David asked him out.


	2. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David wasn’t Billy.
> 
> That was the thought that preoccupied Teddy’s mind as he sat across from David, the late autumn sun drifting between the buildings casting a golden glow across the city. It was beautiful and his fingers twitched to pull out his phone and snap a pictures, sending it to Billy with the caption “Wish you were here”. Yet, Billy hadn’t spoken to him since he left for Boston. It seemed as though he was serious about not staying friends. Teddy didn’t know which hurt more and he tried his best to avoid Billy’s posts online but it was so _difficult_ sometimes.
> 
> David kicked Teddy beneath the table, tearing Teddy away from his thoughts immediately. His head slipped off his hand and he widened his eyes, jumping at the fact that he was supposed to be in the middle of a conversation. “Yes, what?” he stammered, reaching over to catch the glass of water before it fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than thanks belongs to Breila_Rose. Without her Billy, Teddy would be completely lost.

** September **

“Ted. Hello? Earth calling Teddy.”

Teddy blinked, the sounds of the city suddenly roaring back to life around him. He was sitting at a sidewalk cafe in the late afternoon with David. This was their third date and Teddy found that his mind kept wandering more and more, always focusing on Billy. It wasn’t that David wasn’t fun to hang out with. They had a lot in common, but perhaps that was because David knew _everything_ and could fascinate Teddy with little fun facts and side notes that he had never even considered before. He had an air of cool sophistication that some might consider distant and snobby but Teddy could see that David really just wanted to reach out, to connect with others. It must have been difficult with the ability to _know_ more than any one person ever could in a lifetime. David never made him feel stupid and he was always willing to help him with a particularly sticky problem in Business Math 110. 

That was really the biggest problem with David. Had he been an asshole then Teddy would have found it easy to turn him down, but he wasn’t a jerk. He was attractive, kind, helped Teddy with his homework, and even suffered through the bad Sci-Fi movies on Friday night with him. There shouldn’t have been any reason why he couldn’t fall for him but there was big glaring issue that Teddy just couldn’t get over.

David wasn’t Billy.

That was the thought that preoccupied Teddy’s mind as he sat across from David, the late autumn sun drifting between the buildings casting a golden glow across the city. It was beautiful and his fingers twitched to pull out his phone and snap a pictures, sending it to Billy with the caption “Wish you were here”. Yet, Billy hadn’t spoken to him since he left for Boston. It seemed as though he was serious about not staying friends. Teddy didn’t know which hurt more and he tried his best to avoid Billy’s posts online but it was so _difficult_ sometimes.

David kicked Teddy beneath the table, tearing Teddy away from his thoughts immediately. His head slipped off his hand and he widened his eyes, jumping at the fact that he was supposed to be in the middle of a conversation. “Yes, what?” he stammered, reaching over to catch the glass of water before it fell.

“Where did you go just now?” David asked, curious. He folded his hands and leaned forward, smiling slightly. Teddy leaned back in his chair, trying to hide the disappointment on his face. He remembered when Billy looked like that, inching forward so that they could be closer even when across the table. 

“The city just looks pretty from here,” he said with a shrug. “There’s something about a fall sunset that makes the world look like it was touched by King Midas, dipped in glittering gold.”

David’s smile spread across his face, his leg brushing up against Teddy’s beneath the table. “It’s just a simple refraction of the sunlight through the glass of the buildings, you know,” he pointed out, hooking his leg around Teddy’s causing weird, uncomfortable butterflies to erupt in Teddy’s stomach.

“I know, it’s stupid,” Teddy laughed, shaking the comment off. 

“No, it's not stupid. It was beautiful,” David pointed out. “Unrealistic, idealistic, a touch contrived, but still beautiful.”

Teddy never could tell if David was giving him a compliment sometimes. “Oh, well, thanks, I think?”

David laughed brightly, tugging Teddy's leg with his own as if to say he wished more of their bodies were entwined. “That's what I like about you, Ted. You really are a cute blonde, you know? Not that I think you completely live up to the typical blonde stereotype, but sometimes I picture a sign above your head that says, 'Here he is- the All American Boy'.”

“If that All American Boy was a gay alien,” Teddy pointed out. Somewhere he was sure Billy was laughing. 

_I'm sure you're just what the Founding Fathers pictured while drawing up the Declaration of Independence, Billy teased, grinning brightly at Teddy. It's just like that song from Bye, Bye, Birdie. _For he's a fine, upstanding, patriotic, gay, alien, American Boy. _Absolutely how it goes._

“Actually, given the demographics from the last census, gay alien may describe a good portion of the country,” David replied instead. “So, you're probably closer to the All American Boy right now than anyone.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Teddy smiled.

“You know I'm right,” David winked before he tapped his head.

Teddy laughed again, this time it felt a bit more genuine. “True, very true. You know, I don't think it's fair that you always have the last word. We should mix it up. Next time, I get to end the argument, agreed?”

“Even if I know that I'm right?” David asked.

“Yes,” Teddy said. “Even if I'm horribly, disgustingly, embarrassingly wrong, you have to let me end the argument. Deal?”

“Deal,” David said, offering his hand to Teddy. “Let's shake on it like gentleman, I'll pick up the check and we can pick up a film from the Red Box on the way home.”

Teddy took David's hand and shook it. “Deal is struck, not to be broken on pain of death and dismemberment. So say all of us.”

David snickered, letting his hand linger for a moment before he sat back in his chair, reaching for the wallet in his pocket. “There you go again,” David mused, untangling his leg from Teddy's as he dropped two twenties on the table. “Cute and oh so blonde.”

“Yeah,” Teddy chuckled, again not really sure if it was a compliment or some sort of a dig. He stood up, fixing the table by stacking the dishes in the center of the table, cleaning up some of the condensation marks with the napkin before pushing his chair in. 

David stared at him incredulously. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” Teddy asked before looking back at the table. “Oh, well, I just like making the job of the guy who is going to bus the table easier. If the table's not a mess, then he can just pick up the dishes, wipe it down and it's ready to go.”

“You saved him maybe a total of five seconds,” David snorted. “I don't see how that's worth it. Their job is to clean up the table. You're just doing their job for them.”

“Oh, well,” Teddy said, feeling rather embarrassed all of a sudden. He never really thought about _why_ he did that. It just seemed like the nice thing to do. “It just seemed polite.”

David just shook his head and slipped his hand into Teddy's, squeezing it. “The world doesn't work that way, Ted,” he said as they walked down the sidewalk. “How can you look at everything with such a rose-colored view? After everything we've seen, after everything we've done you still have room for polite?”

“It's called being a decent human being,” Teddy countered, frowning at David. “I know not everything is peaches and cream but that doesn't mean I have to be just as ugly. Sometimes all you have is how other people see you. I can't do much, but I can be kind.”

“What do you mean you can't do much?” David said, looking up at Teddy with an incredulous look. “You're a shape shifter with super strength! You can do anything you want.”

“That doesn't mean I _should_ do anything I want,” Teddy replied. His palm was sweaty in David's hand and he wanted to pull away from him. “With great power comes great responsibility.”

“Great, now is not the time to quote Spiderman at me,” David frowned, dropping Teddy's hand to cross his hands over his chest. “I thought we were having a grown-up conversation.”

“We are!” Teddy said heatedly. People around them on the street stared at them, causing a red flush to creep up the back of Teddy's neck. “Just because it comes from a comic doesn't mean there's not truth to it,” he continued, dropping the volume of his voice but not the passion. “Just because I've abilities doesn't give me automatic permission to act like an asshole.”

David shook his head, stopping at the Red Box at the convenient store, pressing the buttons as he spoke. “It's nothing to get upset about,” he said calmly. “It was just a philosophical debate. The point I was trying to make is that doing little things like cleaning up your table at a restaurant are pointless acts of kindness. No one is going to notice them and they really don't serve a purpose. Besides, by not doing them you're respecting the job of the employee of that restaurant. Otherwise you're sending him the message that you don't expect him to do a good job, or to even know _how_ to do his job. By being 'polite' and 'kind' you actually did the reverse – you insulted him.”

Teddy went quiet for a moment feeling as though he had just been scolded. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I guess you have a point.”

“You know I have a point,” David grinned at him, plucking the disc from the machine. He turned and reached up to touch Teddy's face, tracing the sad lines by his mouth. 

“Come on, don't look like that,” he said softly, shifting closer. His thumb brushed Teddy's lip softly, his body moving close to Teddy until their hips touched. The nervous butterflies were back in Teddy's stomach but they weren't the pleasant ones he'd learn to love when he was with Billy. It was as if they were limping along, anxiously trying to keep from falling to the ground.

“Let's get back to my place,” David whispered softly, arching his head up. “Turn on the movie and then _not_ watch it.”

“David, I... I don't know...”

“What's there not to know?” David asked, his lips achingly close to Teddy's. “Just you and me, Ted. I even think I have a bottle of wine back at my place.”

The butterflies felt as if they were trying to escape by lumping in his throat. His heart was beating fast but for all the wrong reasons. He turned his head, feeling David's lips brush against his cheek. “I don't think this is working.”

“Wine doesn't get you going then?” David replied, trailing kisses down Teddy's cheek to his neck. “Well, I'm sure I have something else. Name your poison.”

Teddy put his hands gently on David's shoulders and pushed him away. “I meant... us. We're not working.”

David gave Teddy a searching look, his smile quickly falling into a cold frown. “Why not?” he said. “Because you could have fooled me. You seemed to be enjoying dinner. You said you had a great time on our last two dates.”

“I did have a great time,” Teddy countered. “And I did enjoy dinner, it's just... it doesn't feel right.”

“Tell me what you need, then,” David offered. “Whatever it is, I'll do it.”

Teddy was surprised. He hadn't expected David to be anything other than angry with me. The sudden pleading tone of his voice caught him off guard. “I don't need you to do anything,” Teddy explained. “It's not you, it's-”

“Please, spare me the 'its not you, it's me' bullshit,” David said, holding up his hand. “I don't know what you want from me, Ted. I took you out to nice places, we did all the things _you_ like to do and you still tell me that it's nothing I've done. Don't tell me you're still pining over Kaplan.”

Guilt stabbed at Teddy's belly and he knew the answer was written all over his face. David cursed and turned around, his fingers clutching the disc so hard that Teddy was afraid that it might break. “I'm sorry,” he said softly.

“No you're not,” David snapped. “You're not at all sorry. I should have known this was going to happen. It was always too good to be true.”

“David,” Teddy said, reaching out but David moved his shoulder away. 

“Just go,” David replied, his shoulders tight as he kept his back turned to Teddy. “I don't want to see you right now.”

Teddy stared at David's back and turned to leave. He couldn't let it stand like this, destroying another friendship with a failed romance. “Look, I really am sorry,” he said, not caring if David wasn't looking at him. He could still hear and that was good enough.

“I'm a little fucked up in the head right now. But, you're a good friend. You've always been a good friend to me and I don't want to lose that. Hey, you promised that I could end the next argument we had so let me be the one with the last word. I care about you, David, but what I need right now is a friend, not a boyfriend. Hopefully we can still be friends.”

David was quiet and for a moment Teddy thought that perhaps he hadn't heard. The Red Box kiosk wasn't the ideal place for a friend zone break up, after all. Teddy reached out to touch David's shoulder. “Are you ok?”

David shrugged his shoulder and turned, his glasses tinted dark so it was difficult to see his eyes. “Fine,” he said. “Sure, we can be friends. Just... don't call me for a few days. I... I need a few days.”

“Sure,” Teddy agreed, giving him a small smile. “I guess, I'll see you around?”

“You know I'll be around,” David snorted, a touch of his normal haughty tone back. 

“Yeah,” Teddy laughed softly.

David sighed and turned, leaving Teddy at the kiosk alone. Teddy thought he heard David mumble something about more blonde than cute and again, Teddy didn't know what that meant only that maybe there was something salvageable about their relationship. 

The city rushed back into focus again and he was suddenly hyper aware of how _alone_ he felt. The sensation crept up like a hand threatening to strangle him and the desire to call Billy was so strong that he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. His finger hovered over the button, his heart beating so damned fast that Teddy was afraid he'd begin to hyperventilate. 

_I was wrong_ , he would say in a big rush. _I was stupid. It was a mistake. Please, please, talk to me again. I can't do this without you. I need you. Please, I need-_

His phone buzzed and a little message flashed across the screen:

**1 New Message: Billy Kaplan has changed his Profile Picture**

Teddy's fingers moved before his brain had time to catch up. His thumb swiped the message away, typing in his passcode fast and pulling up his Facebook app. The picture was the first thing that loaded on the screen and Teddy just stared, his mind numb, the city bleeding away until all that was left was him and the picture.

It was Billy but in the month they had been apart it looked like Billy was going for the scruffy, college undergrad look by going unshaven for a few days. God, he looked amazing and Teddy felt a pang of longing in his heart. What would that beard feel like beneath his tongue as he licked him, feeling him squirm beneath his body? Would it be rough like sandpaper, giving him red marks around the love bites that Billy always left on his chest? 

He was so lost in fantasies that he almost missed the guy who stood next to him. His arm was hooked over Billy's shoulder, his face bent forward in mid-laughter. His light brown hair was flopped over his forehead and he was grinning at whatever Billy was saying. He was _gorgeous_ and hugging Billy a little too close. And Billy was _happy_ , Teddy could almost hear his infectious laughter standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk.

“Hey, buddy,” a voice said behind him. 

Teddy nearly dropped his phone to the ground. “W-what?” he said, his eyes wide with surprise. A large line had formed behind him as he stood in front of the Red Box.

“Are you gonna get a movie or are you just gonna stand there with your thumb up your ass?”

Teddy stared blankly at the older gentleman before his thoughts suddenly rushed at him. “Oh! Right, sorry.”

He stepped out of line, giving the irritated line a smile before he rushed off, shoving his phone in his pocket. He needed to get out of there, he needed some space, and he ducked into an alley way. Making certain no one was looking, not that he really cared if anyone was with the way he was feeling at the moment, Teddy took his shirt off and shifted. Large, leathery wings sprouted on his back and he took off, flying high above the city.

The wind was cool against his too hot skin and he beat his wings as hard as he could, wishing for the first time that he had Tommy's ability for speed. He wanted to out run the shitstorm he'd created. Billy was gone, that picture said it all. Whoever brown-haired and gorgeous was, Billy was having _fun_ with him. It hurt and that lump of anger and resentment that had been slowly building over the months of constant fighting was back, pulling him back to Earth.

Teddy touched down not far from his apartment, his head running at a million miles an hour. Billy was happy. Happy _without_ him. Happy with … with... Oh, it didn't matter what his name was. It could be anything at all, something like Dylan, or Jake, or _Brad_. And the worst part of all? Billy and Brad made a cute couple. 

Tommy was gone when Teddy let himself into their apartment which was good. He didn't want to explain why he looked pale and sick. He waited until he was safely in his own room before he broke, sliding to the floor and curling his arms around his knees. 

He woke early in the morning, his eyes red and swollen. When Tommy asked what was wrong, Teddy could only shrug.


	3. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just call me motherfucking Yoda then,” Tommy said with a grin.
> 
> “Yoda wasn't a Sith Lord,” Teddy replied with a choke. “Please... please tell me you know who Yoda really is.”
> 
> “Of course I know who Yoda is,” Tommy snorted, rolling his eyes as he shoveled noodles into his mouth. “Green muppet who looks like Billy's grandma when she's frowning. Don't doubt my geek knowledge, Altman. I've had to listen to you dorks long enough that some of that shit sticks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The phone call at the end of this chapter would have been very different without Breila_Rose. Your Billy is much nicer than in my head!

** October **

A week went by before Tommy finally prodded Teddy to talk.

Teddy walked in after his shift at the coffee shop down the street ended to find Tommy sitting on their second-hand couch holding a pint of his favorite Garlic Chicken and Noodles out to him. “Sit,” Tommy said, the end of a lo mein noodle disappearing between his lips with one big slurp.

“I'm not really hungry,” Teddy said with a smile. “Thanks though.”

“Bullshit.” 

Tommy pointed the tips of his chopsticks at Teddy with a large frown. “You've been moping around this apartment for weeks and I barely saw you crack open a single pint of fucking Chunky Monkey to drown your sorrows in. Sit your ass down and have a fucking cry over chinese food before I sit you down.”

“I'm not going to cry over chinese food,” Teddy sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Real people don't actually do that, you know. I don't need to drown anything in a tub of ice cream or MSG.”

“Don't care. If it works in the movies, it's going to work here. Do it or suffer the consequences of having your favorite Sex Pistol's vinyl mysteriously spontaneously combust.”

Teddy narrowed his eyes at Tommy. Threatening his original release Pistol's record was a low blow. “You wouldn't.”

Tommy held up a slim album, the yellow cover clearly visible. “Don't try me. I know where you live, after all.”

Teddy scowled. Tommy knew all the right buttons to push. He always knew Billy's brother would one day turn out to be an agent of evil and holding his records hostage were just the beginning. “Theft is the first step on the path to the Dark Side,” Teddy pointed out as he walked over to the couch, taking the pint from Tommy's hand.

“Just call me motherfucking Yoda then,” Tommy said with a grin.

“Yoda wasn't a Sith Lord,” Teddy replied with a choke. “Please... please tell me you know who Yoda really is.”

“Of course I know who Yoda is,” Tommy snorted, rolling his eyes as he shoveled noodles into his mouth. “Green muppet who looks like Billy's grandma when she's frowning. Don't doubt my geek knowledge, Altman. I've had to listen to you dorks long enough that some of that shit sticks.”

“I don't doubt that you're more of a geek than you give yourself credit for,” Teddy smiled, opening up the box of Garlic Chicken and digging in hungrily. He had lied when he said he wasn't hungry. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tommy said, waving his chopsticks dismissively. “Think what you want. Slow down with that food, porky. God, you'd think there was a shortage on chicken the way you're horking it down.”

Teddy laughed, feeling happier than he had in weeks. Tommy had a way of dragging him out of his depression that was so subtle Teddy didn't realize what had happened until it was too late. “So I was more hungry than I thought,” he admitted. “Guess that biscotti a few hours ago didn't really cut it.”

“Hulk need more food,” Tommy replied, his voice mockingly gruff and deep. “Or Hulk fall down. Isn't that how it works?”

“More or less,” Teddy snickered. Sometimes being next to Tommy felt almost like having Billy with him. If he squinted and ignored Tommy's shock of white hair then maybe... maybe he could pretend...

“What are you doing?” Tommy asked, giving Teddy a strange look.

“Nothing,” Teddy said, shaking his head quickly. God, what was wrong with him? Was he really so desperate for some contact that he was actually entertaining the idea of pretending that Tommy was Billy? That was fifty shades of wrong and then some.

“Yeah, nothing,” Tommy said, his tone telling him that he didn't believe Teddy. 

“Sorry,” Teddy immediately apologized. “I think it's the coffee fumes. Too much caffeine can have you hallucinate.”

“And you're hallucinating about snarky, dark haired boys who I strikingly resemble?” Tommy asked casually, raising an eyebrow.

Teddy stared down into his pint of chicken, moving the pieces around idly with his chopstick. “Obvious answer is obvious,” he mumbled.

Tommy rolled his eyes and kicked Teddy's leg. “It's been what, two months since you talked to him?”

“Six weeks,” Teddy clarified.

“Just fucking call him,” Tommy said as though it was the easiest solution in the world. 

“And say what?” Teddy asked. “You think I haven't picked up the phone fifty times a day to text him, call him, send him a picture that reminds me of him? It's not that simple.”

“Of course it's that simple,” Tommy snorted. He curled his feet beneath him and sat up, reminding Teddy of one of those Eastern Gurus about to deliver sage advice. “Pick up the phone and say 'I was a stupid idiot please take me back.'”

“And what if he says no?” Teddy blurted out. “What if.... what if he's found someone else?”

“My brother might have a lot of superpowers but one of them is not game,” Tommy snickered. “Does it really matter if there's someone else? You guys are disgusting together, really, it makes me want to puke but at least it makes _sense_. You guys are practically made for each other.”

Teddy narrowed his eyes at Tommy who backtracked right away. “Sorry, wrong choice of words.”

Teddy sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration. “He's happy. I don't want to mess that up for him. I mean, he is happy, right?”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah man, he's happy, I guess. But, why don't you let him tell you that? I don't like this fucking back and forth. Reminds me too much of my parents.”

“Sorry,” Teddy apologized. He really didn't mean to put Tommy in the middle. It was easy to take for granted that Tommy was his one constant link to Billy and the last thing he wanted to do was drive him away. 

“Don't worry about it,” Tommy said, waving his hand before leaning back against the arm of the couch, resting the chopsticks on the top of his lip. “You should stop apologizing so much.”

“Habit,” Teddy smiled. 

“Well, it's fucking annoying sometimes,” Tommy pointed out. 

“I'll keep that in mind.”

There was a soft silence that settled between them. It was an easy quiet and Teddy leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes. He felt a bit better after talking to Tommy but there was still that nagging worry that he was missing something important. It was good that Billy was happy, wasn't it? The entire point was to give them both a chance to discover who they really were, to make sure that their relationship wasn't built doubt and crippling need. Teddy still hadn't found what he was looking for but that was ok. Billy was moving on and that was... good. 

No matter how many times he tried to tell himself that, all he needed to do was look at Billy's profile picture to feel the gaping hole in his chest. 

“Call him.”

Teddy opened his eyes. Tommy stood in front of him and held out his phone. “Do it and we'll both feel better.”

Teddy took the phone and stared at it. “Maybe,” he said. “Are you headed to Boston for a visit any time soon?”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. “I go where the mood strikes. Might stop by later tonight after I visit Kate, might not be until later tomorrow. All depends.”

“Depends on when Kate kicks you out, you mean?” Teddy grinned, enjoying the way Tommy's ears flushed red. 

“Hey, when your relationship with my brother is better than this on again – off again bullshit, then you can start commenting on my whatever,” Tommy scolded. “Call him. You'll be doing us both a favor.”

“Fine,” Teddy agreed. 

“I'm holding you to that,” Tommy said, knocking Teddy playfully on the side of his head. “Ok, enough of this mushy, emotional bullshit. I'm outta here.”

“Hey, Tommy?” Teddy said quickly, knowing that the speedster would be gone in a flash.

“What?”

“Thanks for this. I... I needed it.”

Tommy shrugged his shoulders but Teddy thought he saw the faint curve of a smile on his face. “I'm just tired of you losers being stupid. It's annoying. Call him, Ted. Don't make me kick your ass.”

A quick blur darted out the door and Teddy was left alone, cell phone in hand. He glanced down and saw that Billy's number had already been dialed, all that was left was for him to press the word 'SEND'. He could do it, he _should_ do it. Really, six weeks was enough radio silence. All he needed to do was just say 'Hi'. How difficult was that?

Teddy's heart beat hard as his thumb hovered over the word. _Don't think, just do._

He pressed SEND.

The phone rang and Teddy's anxiety just spiralled upward. What was he going to say? What did Billy want him to say? I miss you, come home? I need you. I want you. None of this makes sense without you.

“Hello?”

The voice was male and unfamiliar. In the background, Teddy could hear Billy's voice laughing and the sounds of a playful struggle. Teddy couldn't speak, he just stared at the phone, not knowing what to do.

“Shhh... shut-up, Bill...Hello? _He-_ llo? Is this one of those pervy breather phone calls?”

His fingers hit the END button before he had to listen anymore. The phone dropped to the ground and Teddy slumped back against the couch.

He was an idiot. Why did he think Billy would be alone? Of course _he_ was there. The new boyfriend – the one Tommy had conveniently forgotten to mention. Was that why Tommy wanted Teddy to call? To cement once and for all that Billy had moved on, that it was over? 

His phone buzzed loudly on the ground. Teddy looked down and wasn't at all surprised to see that the name “BILLY” was plastered on the screen. Teddy picked it up, staring at it. Did he really want to hear the words come from Billy's mouth? Was he honestly ready to hear that there was no hope of getting back together?

Teddy let the call go to voicemail. Billy didn't call back again.


	4. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Teddy Altman, could be stricken ill. It was a weird quirk in his genetics, he supposed. They never lasted very long, thankfully, but that didn't mean he didn't know what it was like to feel miserable. He never told anyone, though. He'd suffer through it – push through even though he felt like something that was scraped off the pavement. Billy had always seen through his masquerade, however. He'd have a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup, his favorite blanket, and an evening of stupid movies to keep him company whenever the dreaded cold struck. 
> 
> It was one of the many things Teddy missed about Billy. What other guy was he making chicken noodle soup for? Was it the same guy who had answered the phone weeks ago? Was Billy wrapping a blanket around both of their shoulders, curling in close on the couch as they watched bad CGI monster movies? The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth and he had to struggle to keep from giving in to those fantasies.
> 
> It wasn't easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to Breila_rose for her wonderful inspiration and collaboration.

** November **

Weeks past and Teddy couldn't bring himself to listen to the voicemail.

It was stupid, he knew that, and deleting it wasn't an option. He would open his phone and slide the screen over to his voicemails and stare at it – his finger hovered over the play triangle. The small slider indicated that the message was twenty-eight seconds long which would have been enough for a short message. But what could it be? Teddy wasn't certain he wanted to find out and so he kept it on his phone, gazing at it when he thought no one was watching him.

The air grew colder and Teddy had to start wearing a thermal under his skin tight costume when he went out at night. How did most superheroes do it, he wondered, as he flew through the brisk night air scanning for trouble. His ears were red and his nose felt as though it wouldn't stop running. By the third night of his scheduled patrol session he seriously considered bringing a hat and scarf with him or run the risk of getting a cold.

Yes, Teddy Altman, could be stricken ill. It was a weird quirk in his genetics, he supposed. They never lasted very long, thankfully, but that didn't mean he didn't know what it was like to feel miserable. He never told anyone, though. He'd suffer through it – push through even though he felt like something that was scraped off the pavement. Billy had always seen through his masquerade, however. He'd have a bowl of hot chicken noodle soup, his favorite blanket, and an evening of stupid movies to keep him company whenever the dreaded cold struck. 

It was one of the many things Teddy missed about Billy. What other guy was he making chicken noodle soup for? Was it the same guy who had answered the phone weeks ago? Was Billy wrapping a blanket around both of their shoulders, curling in close on the couch as they watched bad CGI monster movies? The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth and he had to struggle to keep from giving in to those fantasies.

It wasn't easy.

Patrol was relatively quiet tonight, Teddy observed as he soared high in the sky, avoiding the lights from the city below. Up in the sky he could let his mind wander which wasn't necessarily a good thing. Tonight was no different than any other – Billy was on his mind. This time, it had started out so innocent. He would listen to the voicemail and instead of telling Teddy to never call again, it was Billy saying he was sorry, that he missed Teddy. That he wanted him back and oh, he missed him so much could he please call back? Of course he would – that wasn't even up to question. In fact, he'd do one better. He wouldn't just call, he'd hop onto a damned train and head on up to Boston. Billy would be so happy to see him that he'd leap into his arms the moment the train came into the station, his hands wrapping around Billy's waist, holding him close, Billy's lips on his own so fast the breath would be ripped from him.

Teddy was so lost in the fantasy that he didn't notice the side of the skyscraper suddenly stretched out in front of him, the dark glass faded into the night. He braced himself for impact and shifted directions, diving steeply towards the ground. The air rushed by him, the ground swiftly approaching. Teddy spread out his wings trying to break his fall and managed only to stumble when he hit the pavement.

He looked up, breathing so hard that he had to unwrap the scarf from his neck. That was close. He really needed to keep his eyes on where he was going. The last thing he needed was to end up hurting himself on patrol doing something incredibly stupid.

“Hulkling?”

Teddy turned, instantly puffing his chest out in a stance he'd adopted for years now. Billy always laughed and called it his Captain America look. It was his superhero stance. He needed to look larger than life and in charge of the situation. The look was just as important as his powers. People needed someone to look up to, a person who would step up when they couldn't. He loved being that person and the look was all part of his persona. 

“Why do you stand like that? You look like you're constipated.”

The voice belonged to David and Teddy grinned. After their disastrous third date Teddy hadn't expected David to talk to him again. To his surprise, a week later he was asking him to meet for coffee and agreed that they worked best as friends. It was so much easier now and Teddy didn't know why he even tried to date him. As a boyfriend, David didn't understand him. As a friend, his dry humor and vast intelligence didn't make him feel like a perpetual idiot.

“Prodigy,” Teddy nodded, grinning at the other hero. “I didn't know you drew the short straw this week, too.”

David shrugged his shoulders, his black and yellow body suit looking far warmer than what Teddy was currently wearing. “I traded with Hawkeye. She said that she had a date tonight and she'd owe me one. Plus, I figured you could use some company.”

He touched Teddy's brightly colored scarf and raised an eyebrow. “Cold?”

“Frozen,” Teddy admitted. “I think I'm going to look into a winter costume. I don't remember having the same issue last year.”

“That's because last year we were tromping through the Multiverse,” David pointed out. “And you were somewhere in Texas. Little different weather.”

“Right,” Teddy said softly. He didn't really want to remember that for the second year in a row he was separated from Billy. 

“Personally, I wouldn't mind being someplace else,” David said, stretching his arms over his head, nudging Teddy's shoulder playfully. It was a clever way of changing the topic and Teddy appreciated the effort.

“Really?” he asked curiously. “Why is that?”

“Holiday season coming up,” David replied very casually. “And the holidays in the city are always depressing. More people kill themselves over the holidays, you know. Suicide from heights tends to be very popular and very melodramatic.”

“Wow, you're simply a ray of sunshine,” Teddy snorted. “You must be a hit at parties with facts like that.”

“I'm the life of the party,” David replied smugly. “So, any reason why I caught you falling from the sky a few moments ago? You're not suffering from any pre-holiday broodiness, are you? Thinking of ending it all over some boy?”

“What?” Teddy sputtered. “No, nothing like that. I just was distracted that's all.”

David gave him a long look before he grinned. “Mmmhmm,” he murmured. “I'm sure that's all it was. I'll take your word for it. You _are_ Hulkling after all. The man who makes us all look bad.”

“I really wish you'd quit talking like that,” Teddy said, frowning a bit. “I'm only doing my job. I pledged to look after the city. That's what an Avenger does. Come on, you do just as much.”

“I wouldn't say that,” David replied wryly. “Well, Superhero, I suppose I should let you get back to your patrol.”

“Hey wait,” Teddy said, reaching out to grab David's shoulder. David looked back, his eyebrow raised behind his yellow glasses.

“Something on your mind?”

“Just... something you said about the Holidays got me thinking,” Teddy blurted out. “You don't have family in the city, do you?”

“No,” David replied, narrowing his eyes. Teddy could see he already knew where this was going. “I don't think this is a good idea-”

“You should come to the Kaplan's for Thanksgiving,” Teddy said quickly before David could finish. “I'm sure they'd love to have you. You're part of the team and you helped save everyone last year. I think that gets you at least a few pieces of turkey.”

“I don't know,” David sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Is Billy going to be there?”

Teddy went quiet. He honestly didn't know what Billy's plans were for Thanksgiving but if he knew Rebecca Kaplan, she'd skin her son alive if he didn't come home to visit. In fact, she'd personally hunt down both Teddy and Tommy if they failed to show up as well. It was all part of the Kaplan family tradition and both he and Tommy were now honorary family members.

“Right,” David replied, taking Teddy's silence as a bad sign. “You know that he and I don't see eye to eye. Besides, I don't think I'd be able to enjoy my dinner if you both are making cow eyes at each other. No offense, but I don't need my face rubbed in it.”

“It's not going to be like that,” Teddy promised. “I haven't even spoken to Billy since August. I don't think he wants anything to do with me, to be frank. Cow eyes, sheep eyes, and any other barnyard animal metaphors will be right out. And you'll have me and Tommy there if you don't want to talk to Billy, that's fine.”

David still didn't look too convinced but he shrugged after a few moments. “If you say so. Let me think about it, ok?”

“Sure,” Teddy grinned. “I'll call you in a week or so to confirm.”

“You do that,” David said, playfully rolling his eyes. “Now get back up in the air and finish that patrol, hero. The city is counting on you.”

“Aye, aye,” Teddy laughed before launching up into the night sky, the scarf fluttering behind him. He felt good about inviting David to dinner. It was the right thing to do. No one should be alone on Thanksgiving. Besides, he was sure Billy would understand.

Wouldn't he?


	5. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As far as holidays went, Teddy supposed it could have been worse. That didn't mean it landed itself on the top ten favorite days of Teddy's life. It drifted somewhere near the bottom, not quite as bad as the day he told Billy that he wasn't needed outside of the noodle shop but fairly close. The same tension filled the air and Teddy was barely able to eat, his stomach tied up in tight knots.
> 
> And it had all started when David rang the bell.

** Thanksgiving **

 

As far as holidays went, Teddy supposed it could have been worse. That didn't mean it landed itself on the top ten favorite days of Teddy's life. It drifted somewhere near the bottom, not quite as bad as the day he told Billy that he wasn't needed outside of the noodle shop but fairly close. The same tension filled the air and Teddy was barely able to eat, his stomach tied up in tight knots.

And it had all started when David rang the bell.

Before that, things had been surprisingly _normal_. He had been so worried about what he would say to Billy after months apart, but it turned out he was concerned for nothing. Billy had smiled at him and shook his hand, chatting about school and life in Boston. It wasn't the same as before and maybe Teddy could see the strain in Billy's smile as though he was mentally forcing himself to be happy even when he didn't completely feel it but it was something and it was more than Teddy had let himself hope for.

Tommy had brought Kate along (“Only as a friend, don't give me that look, Teddy,” she had said to him) and when they were all in the room together it truly felt like family. He was even able to squash the little voice in his head that seemed to pop up every single time Billy's phone chimed and it tore him away from the conversation. So what if it was Brad, the guy from Facebook that he was so sure Billy was dating. Brad wasn't here and Billy was talking to him and that made all the difference. 

Kate had excused herself (“Obligatory call to the family – give me five”) and Tommy had raced to get a taste of Rebecca Kaplan's famous stuffing leaving Teddy alone with Billy for the first time since August. All of a sudden the air between them changed, the tension heavy and thick with words left unsaid. Teddy cleared his throat, about to wonder if Billy's mother needed any help in the kitchen when Billy filled the silence.

“How is school?” he asked.

“Good,” Teddy said with a shrug. “I guess. I sort of... dropped a few classes. I'm only going part-time now.”

“You what?” Billy replied, sounding startled. He inched forward on the couch, leaning closer to Teddy. “Why?”

“It was really difficult to keep up with early morning classes after a late night of patrolling,” Teddy confessed. “I swapped a few of the campus classes with online courses. But it's not a big deal. It means I can do more of what I do best – helping people.”

“But what about you?” Billy asked softly, reaching out to touch Teddy's hand. His heart jumped in his chest from that simple brush of skin. 

“What do you mean?” Teddy said after a brief pause to keep his voice from wavering. 

“You're always thinking of others but you never think about yourself,” Billy pointed out with a sad sort of smile. “Sometimes you have to put yourself first, T. Did you ever look into the art classes?”

“I couldn't fit them in his schedule.” It was such a lame excuse, he knew that, and from the look on Billy's face Teddy could tell that he knew it, too.

“You promised that you would,” Billy said softly. “I had hoped... that even though we're not... do I have to worry about you?”

Billy reached out and took Teddy's hand in his, his fingers sliding along the back of Teddy's knuckles. Heat rushed through him, his mouth suddenly going dry. God, he had forgotten how much he missed Billy's touch, how _addicting_ even a small brush of his fingers could become. He turned his hand and tangled his fingers with Billy's, needing to feel the weight of his hand in his and using it as an anchor to stop his thoughts from spinning out of control with that light, feathery caress.

“You don't have to worry, B,” Teddy replied, leaning in to close the distance between them. He could see Billy hold his breath, that tight tension shifting into something warmer, an undercurrent of _want_ rushing between them. Billy bit the bottom of his lips and all Teddy wanted to do was run the tip of his tongue against the surface. 

“Billy, I-” he started when he heard a voice clear their throat behind him.

Teddy turned and saw Tommy standing next to a very uncomfortable looking David who was holding what looked to be some sort of bottle wrapped in a paper bag. Billy tensed and pulled his hand quickly from Teddy's hand, the moment between them lost as a very different atmosphere began to settle over them. 

“David,” Teddy said, trying to communicate a look of apology to his friend. He stood up and grinned, offering his hand to David. “We weren't expecting you until 4.”

“Check your watch, Altman, and you'll see it's half past,” David replied with a quirk of his lips. He took Teddy's hand and pulled him into a hug.

“I thought you promised me there'd be no barnyard eyes of any sort,” he whispered into Teddy's ear. 

Teddy flushed quickly. “Later,” he said.

“What is he doing here?” Billy asked, a deep frown on his face. There was no hiding the dislike on Billy's face and David shifted a bit, holding the bottle of wine out as though it were a peace offering. 

“I was invited,” he said, his tone cool but not unkind. “I brought wine.”

“He didn't have any plans,” Teddy explained, wishing he could brush the stormy look off of Billy's face. “No one should be alone on Thanksgiving.”

Billy gave Teddy a long look before shrugging his shoulders, his hands slipping into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Whatever,” he mumbled, his fingers sliding across the surface. _He's texting Brad_ , Teddy thought and he frowned, his mind supplying him with all of the variations of words he could be sending.

“Well, now that it's officially awkward,” Tommy announced with a clap of his hands. “I think that it's time for dinner.”

Dinner wasn't any better.

Maybe it was Teddy's imagination but Billy was acting especially icy at the table. He sat on the opposite end of the table, his nose buried in the screen of his phone. He ignored most of the conversation except for when it would turn to David. Billy seemed to always have a quick comment, his sharp tongue making everyone uncomfortable. 

The last straw came just as the table was being cleared. Teddy was collecting dishes, helping Rebecca out as he always did. It came naturally to him and it didn't bother him in the slightest that Billy and Tommy sat at the table. David must have noticed and decided to comment about it.

“Teddy seems to have a natural talent for dishes,” David laughed as Teddy came by to collect his plate. “Did I ever tell you guys that he actually cleaned up our table at a restaurant on our last date?”

A fork clattered. Teddy looked down the table to see Billy playing with the silverware. Was it just him or did he look even more tense than usual?

“Really?” Kate said with a smile. “That does sound like something Teddy would do.”

“Our bleeding heart,” Tommy added with a snort. “Just call him Mother Theresa.”

“You know, I'm standing right here,” Teddy laughed. “I can hear you.”

“Yes, but hush, I'm telling a story,” David smirked, putting a hand on on Teddy's arm. “Let the grown-ups talk.”

“Don't do that.”

Billy had said so little during dinner that everyone was surprised he spoke, especially in the tone of voice he used. A chill ran up Teddy's spine. There was energy in Billy's voice. He'd heard Billy's spells long enough to know that his voice dropped, the words suddenly gathering in intensity that they sounded _heavy_. Tommy and Kate exchanged a look, their bodies going tense. David didn't seem to notice or, if he did, he didn't seem to care.

“Don't do what, Kaplan?” David asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Don't talk to him like that. He's not a child.”

Billy's eyes flashed blue as he glared at David. Teddy slowly placed the dishes on the table and walked over to Billy, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. 

“He didn't mean it,” Teddy whispered to him. “Calm down.”

“You calm down!” Billy snapped at him, pulling his shoulder away from Teddy. “I can't believe you're defending him! You're just so... he's …. he shouldn't be here, anyway! Nobody but _you_ wants him here!”

“Billy!”

Rebecca Kaplan stood in the dining room her hands on her hips as she frowned deeply at her eldest son. “I am incredibly disappointed in you. Teddy invited his friend to dinner. _Everyone_ is welcomed here, you know that.”

“It's fine, Mrs. Kaplan,” David said, standing up. “I should probably get going. I've some things to do tonight. Thank you for dinner.”

“You really don't have to leave,” Teddy said, giving David an apologetic look. “At least stay for coffee.”

“Right, coffee and then we'll all hang around playing Parcheesi because we're such good friends,” Billy grumbled under his breath. Teddy nudged him, having heard it. It was a soft, 'please be polite' reminder that came naturally but it was the wrong thing to do. Billy stood suddenly, glaring at Teddy with such a fierce _hurt_ look that Teddy felt as though Billy had struck him.

“Don't,” he hissed before he stormed off, out of the dining room.

Teddy looked back to find the rest of the room staring at him. He swallowed hard, hoping that he wasn't turning red in embarrassment. “He'll be fine,” he said weakly, shrugging his shoulders. Billy's mother gave him a look that said she didn't believe him for one minute and it struck him then that he hadn't told Billy's parents that they were taking a break. It scared him to think that Rebecca thought less of him simply because he and Billy weren't as close as they once had been. She had become a surrogate mother to him over the years. What would he do if he lost her the same way he was losing Billy?

“I should still go,” David announced once more. He pushed his chair into the table and smiled at Rebecca Kaplan. “Thank you for dinner.”

“I'm glad you enjoyed it,” she said.

“Why don't I walk you out?” Teddy offered, needing to get out of the room. He waited for David, holding his head high until they walked out into the hall, heading towards the foyer. Once out of sight of the rest of the family, Teddy let his shoulders slump and he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“That was interesting,” David snorted. “It's a good thing Kaplan doesn't have ice powers or else that would have been the chilliest Thanksgiving dinner I have ever had.”

“I'm sorry,” Teddy apologized. “I didn't know that was going to happen. I had thought that he could at least be _civil_ but it seems like that's too much for him.”

David smiled and shook his head. “I'd like to agree with you but as always, Ted, you're only seeing the pieces and missing the entirety of the puzzle.”

“What are you talking about?” Teddy asked, raising a perfect eyebrow in confusion.

“God, has anyone told you how devastatingly handsome you are when you're clueless?” David groaned. He reached into the closet and pulled on his tweed peacoat looking impeccably polished as always. Teddy had to admit that David had style where he was lucky if he could pull off an outfit without looking as though he was still stuck in his early teen angst phase.

“You really don't have to go,” Teddy said. “Just give Billy a few minutes. He'll calm down.”

“No, I think this is for the best,” David replied. “He was sparking blue and I know when not to press my luck.”

David looked up at Teddy for a minute as if trying to decide something. He leaned over and kissed Teddy's cheek before whispering in his ear. “He's jealous, you idiot,” he whispered before stepping away.

“Jealous? Of what?” Teddy said, surprised. David sighed.

“If you don't know then I'm not going to be the one to tell you. Call me, Ted. Maybe we can grab coffee sometime.”

David opened the door and the chilly late November air rushed in. Teddy shivered, the coldness clearing his head. Jealous. Billy was _jealous_? Did that mean he still thought that he and David were dating? Of course. How could he have been so stupid?

Teddy waited until David had turned at the corner before he shut the door. If that was all that had Billy pissed then it was an easy fix. All he had to do was tell him that he and David had stopped seeing each other months ago. Then they could laugh over the misunderstanding and finish off Thanksgiving on a better note.

He climbed up the stairs to Billy's room, figuring that it was the one spot where Billy could hide from the rest of his family. The door to his room was shut, bits of tape still stuck to the front from the number of posters that Billy had taken down to take with him to college. Teddy raised his hand to knock when he heard Billy's voice through the door. It sounded as though he was talking to someone on the phone. He placed his hand on the door knob and the door slid open slightly, letting Billy's words drift out into the hallway.

“Yeah,” Billy said with a sigh. “It's just hard to be here. I didn't think it would be this difficult.”

Billy paused and paced in front of the door. Teddy shrank back in the hallway, holding his breath so that Billy couldn't hear him. He should leave. This was a private conversation and he shouldn't be listening. 

“No, I didn't tell him,” Billy continued. He sat down on the bed and leaned his elbows against his knees. “How can I? It's not like...”

His voice trailed off and he stared at the wall. Teddy's head spun and he had a terrible feeling that Billy was talking about him. But that was just ridiculous, wasn' t it? Not every conversation Billy had necessarily had to do with Teddy. He could be talking about someone else. It was possible.

“No, you don't know him the way I do. Teddy...”

At the sound of his name Teddy felt his heart stop.

“...I can't tell him. I just wish that you had come home with me. It would have been so much easier to say it if you were here.”

It was Brad. It had to be. Billy was talking to his college boyfriend and Teddy had stumbled on their conversation. He felt crushed and entirely guilty. He hadn't really expected Billy to move on but that was the entire point of the break, wasn't it? This was what Teddy wanted – time apart, to see if they were really right for each other. New people, new experiences on their own.

Then why did Teddy feel like his heart was shattering?

“Yeah. No, I know. Shut up, you doof. Ok. Text you later.”

The door opened and it was too late for Teddy to do anything but stand there. Billy hadn't been expecting to find Teddy outside of his door and stumbled a bit, his cheeks flushing from embarrassment. “Hey,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, I just want to say that-”

“Desert is on the table,” Teddy said bluntly, not letting Billy finish. “Your mom is waiting for us.”

He didn't want to hear what Billy had to say. He'd heard enough already. Without another word Teddy turned around and walked back down the hall and down the steps.

A few moments later, Billy followed. Teddy never did find out what Billy wanted to tell him. He didn't give him the opportunity to speak to him alone. The day Billy went back to Boston was the day that winter officially arrived in New York, dropping three inches of snow on the city. Teddy had never felt so cold as he did on that day.


	6. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since Thanksgiving he's been doing what he can to avoid reminding himself of Billy. It's difficult but he's taught himself to avoid different places online, contacting his friends through email rather than Facebook. It's easier this way. He doesn't have to worry about coming across another happy picture of Billy and _Brad_ or some silly post about the fun he's having in Boston. He's happy for Billy but it still hurt to see and every happy smile felt like a twist to the dagger in his heart. The first day had been difficult but slowly he learned to stop checking his phone every five minutes, anxiously waiting for the one post that would either break his heart or have him rushing back without a second thought. 
> 
> Space. 
> 
> A chance to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who have been following along. I appreciate all of the comments and the feedback!
> 
> Thank you to Breila_Rose for reading, plotting along with me, and helping me with Hanukkah traditions.

** December **

 

Christmas in the city is Teddy's absolute favorite. 

It's more than just the lights on the tree in Rockefeller Center (which he goes to visit every year no matter how incredibly mobbed the place is with tourists) or the department store displays of the traditional Santa and Holiday cheer. There is energy in the air that Teddy has never been able to explain. It's infectious, seeping into his bones like the cold, crisp air that seems to whip through the streets and turn his cheeks a bright shade of red. Winter is fresh in the weeks leading up to Christmas, new and white. Where every gray sky brings the gleeful anticipation of snow, brightly colored scarves and hats adding to the excitement. The world feels alive and for a moment, Teddy lets himself get wrapped up in it all.

Ever since Thanksgiving he's been doing what he can to avoid reminding himself of Billy. It's difficult but he's taught himself to avoid different places online, contacting his friends through email rather than Facebook. It's easier this way. He doesn't have to worry about coming across another happy picture of Billy and _Brad_ or some silly post about the fun he's having in Boston. He's happy for Billy but it still hurt to see and every happy smile felt like a twist to the dagger in his heart. The first day had been difficult but slowly he learned to stop checking his phone every five minutes, anxiously waiting for the one post that would either break his heart or have him rushing back without a second thought. 

Space. 

A chance to breathe.

So he let himself get lost in the festiveness of the holiday, distracting himself from anything having to do with Billy. He and Tommy put up a tree in their apartment and decorate it with cut out snowflakes and the ornaments Teddy brought out of storage. Generic colored lights twinkled through the green plastic branches and the whole thing was topped off with a lace star on top. It had been his mom's, purchased from a flea market when Teddy was seven. He still remembered asking his mother for it since it reminded him of Spiderman's webbing. What was cooler than a Spiderman Christmas star? To seven year old Teddy Altman, nothing.

“You always were a giant nerd, weren't you?” Tommy said with an affectionate smirk when Teddy told him the story.

“That's me – Captain Dork,” Teddy laughed.

Tommy stared at Teddy before he snorted. “Now I know why you couldn't think of anything more creative than Hulkling.”

“Yes, I know,” Teddy grinned. “I've come to the conclusion that Superhero names are not my forte. I'm also the one who suggested Billy should keep Asgardian. Thankfully, he didn't listen to me.”

Thinking of Billy sobered him and he stared at the tree in a somber silence. Tommy must have sensed the shift in mood for he punched Teddy's shoulder affectionately. “Come on, Cap,” he said. “I think they're giving out free samples of peppermint bark down at the coffee shop. If we go early we can fill up enough bags that all of my holiday shopping will be finished.”

“I'm pretty sure it's only one per customer,” Teddy said, happy for the distraction of Tommy's borderline klepto urges to keep him from brooding.

“Yeah, well, if that's what they meant they should have put it on the sign,” Tommy shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. “What do you say? If I'm with you I have an alibi.”

“And to think you're a hero,” Teddy said with a roll of his eyes.

“A hero on a budget,” Tommy reminded him. “Unless you're suddenly offering to pay more than half of the rent. Sacrifices must be made if you're to keep me on the straight and narrow, you know.”

“Suddenly, last year's presents of Hilton Shampoo and Conditioner thrown into a tiny, one cup coffee maker makes so much sense,” Teddy mused.

Tommy winked at him before he clapped his hands on Teddy's shoulders, pushing him towards the door of the apartment. “I will never reveal my secret for gift giving. Walk, Altman, I need caffeine and chocolate.”

Teddy could always count on Tommy to make him smile. Without him, Teddy didn't know how he would have gotten through his days. It was almost like having Billy with him, if Billy was straight and swore so much Teddy had to wonder where he came up with some of the more creative ones. Teddy wondered if Tommy knew he was replacing Billy for him. He had a sneaky suspicion that Tommy wasn't as dumb as he pretended to be because he always seemed to keep Teddy at arms length, disappearing just when Teddy's mind wandered. No one could ever mistake Tommy for Billy but there were sometimes when there was a similar gesture, a shrug or a quirk of his lips that was so heartbreakingly Billy that he couldn't help himself. Thankfully, Tommy never called him out on it and Teddy was smart enough never to say anything about it. 

Still, it was a bad habit to fall into and he noticed it happening more and more frequently. He forced himself to put some distance between himself and Tommy, determined not to walk that dangerous ground and walk the streets of the city instead. The cold air cleared his mind and he felt more centered on these walks, watching the world around him instead of focusing on the mad thoughts swirling in his brain.

It was during one of these walks that he stumbled upon a street fair. People had set up little booths all along the street and were selling food and crafts. Teddy was easily charmed, walking up and down searching for the perfect gift for his friends. A small porcelain high heeled shoe for Kate because he'd never seen anyone who could do so much in heels before he met her. For Tommy, an impromptu flea market produced an old Bart Simpson doll that said “Eat my Shorts!” when squeezed. Teddy had a feeling Tommy would love it. An anatomically correct brain key-chain for David, an audio cassette tape that was labeled “Awesome Mix Vol. 1” for Noh-Varr, a boxing nun for America, and Billy... 

Halfway between vendors Teddy realized that what he was really looking for was the perfect gift for Billy. Nothing seemed to fit. It was either too sappy, too silly, or just not perfect enough. By the time Teddy reached the third comic book table, his fingers shuffling through the stack of cellophane issues for ninety-nine cents that he gave up. Maybe he shouldn't even bother. It wasn't as though they were still together. Perhaps _Brad_ had already given him the most wonderful gift to be all holiday gifts past and present. How could he top perfect _Brad_?

He wandered back up the street, moving through the tables on the opposite side of the street when he overheard the sounds of kids bickering. The argument was growing heated. From the way the voices could be overheard over the din of the crowd Teddy realized that screaming would probably follow. He'd spent enough time around Billy's younger brothers to tell when a kid altercation was escalating. Following the noise, Teddy discovered two boys, red faced and angry. They were standing in front of a picnic table that was strewn with white pieces of computer paper and crayons. A little girl stood off to the side, her hair sticking out of her pink knit hat, her lip sticking out and quivering.

“You take that back!” one of the boys demanded, his cheeks red from the cold. 

“Make me,” the other boy replied, his dark skin and haughty nature reminding Teddy instantly of David.

The other boy, his own blue knit hat falling sideways and tumbling to the ground revealing messy brown hair that looked to match the little girl's own. He held up his fists menacingly, shaking them at the other boy. “I can do it, too,” he said. “Nobody messes up my sister's picture!”

“Whoa, whoa, hold it,” Teddy said, stepping between the two boys. “What's going on?”

“He wreaked my sister's picture,” the boy in the blue hat said heatedly. 

“Did not,” the haughty boy sniffed. “She was coloring it in wrong. I was just fixing it for her.”

“Who cares if she wants to color Hulk pink?” the boy in the blue hat retorted. 

“Because it's wrong,” the haughty boy pointed out. “She should know that it's wrong.”

“I'm sure the Hulk wouldn't mind that he was colored pink,” Teddy said, speaking over the boy in the blue hat who looked ready to spit nails. “And it really isn't nice to color on someone's picture, you know. Why not get another picture of Hulk and color that?”

“There aren't anymore,” the haughty boy said, rolling his eyes. “ _She_ took the last one.”

“Oh, well, I could draw you one if you wanted...”

The boys looked at Teddy skeptically but kept silent. He picked up a black crayon and one of the pieces of paper. Without much thought, Teddy sketched a passable outline of the Hulk, adding a city skyline to the background. It didn't take him very long and he slid it across to the haughty boy who stared at it, his eyes wide.

“Will that work?” Teddy asked.

“That is.... awesome,” the boy breathed, looking at Teddy in awe. “Can you draw Captain America next?”

“Sure,” Teddy laughed, taking a seat at the picnic table. The two boys sat across from him, the little girl crawling up on the bench as well, the ruined picture forgotten. “He's my favorite. But you guys have to draw your favorites, too.”

“I'm drawing Spiderman!” the boy in the blue hat said, reaching for the red crayon. 

The haughty boy sighed and picked up the green crayon, content to color in the picture that Teddy had drawn of the Hulk. “The Hulk is the best,” he said as he colored. “No one can beat him. Not even _Spiderman_.”

Teddy bit the inside of his lip as he tried his best not to laugh as the bickering started again, this time without the threat of mortal wounds or bloody noses. Teddy focused on his drawing, the details flowing from his mind onto the paper. He drew Captain America as he'd always pictured him – tall, proud, and standing for all that was good and just. The reality was a bit more complicated, but then again, every superhero was more complex then what the comic books made them out to be. The trick to it all was to remember what was most important in the end and strive to do what was _right_. 

“Alex, Derrek, Amanda!”

Teddy heard the kids groan and looked up. A tall woman with mousey brown hair waved to the kids. “Are you ready to go?”

“Here,” Teddy said as the two boys picked up their pictures. He handed the haughty boy the picture of Cap. He was happy to see that his eyes lit up, showing the other boy the picture as the earlier argument was forgotten between them.

“This is great! Thanks!”

Teddy shrugged. “You're welcome. No more ripping papers, yeah?”

The two boys hurried over to the woman, talking over themselves as they showed her the picture. She nodded her head, barely listening as she focused on the seat next to Teddy. He looked down to see the little girl was still hard at work, her little tongue caught between her lips as she furiously dragged a blue crayon around the paper.

“Amanda, we need to go,” the woman said, sounding hurried.

“'kay, Mommy!” the little girl said, tugging Teddy's arm and handing him the paper. He stared at it curiously. It was a figure with black hair, a long flowing red cape and what looked like their chest and legs covered in stars. All around the figure was neon blue crayon. He looked down at the girl, a puzzled look on his face.

“It's Wiccan,” she said, her words lisped as she was missing her top front teeth. “He's my favorite.”

“Amanda!”

“Coming, Mom!”

The little girl scrambled off the picnic table leaving Teddy feeling a bit stunned as he stared down at the picture. It was easy to see it now and his heart warmed, writing the girl's name on the back of the paper before folding it carefully and slipping it in the bag with the rest of the presents. 

Billy's gift turned out to be easier than he anticipated. 

–

Winter break was fast approaching and Teddy was faced with choosing his classes for the next term. His adviser was breathing down his neck, sending him email after email that he had ignored until the last possible moment. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in college any longer, he just felt so indecisive. Maybe he should put it all on hold. There were so many more important things to do than writing papers or learning the bones of the human body. There were evil villains bent on destroying the city every other day and wasn't that much more important than attending the next lecture on the meaning of the word 'meaning'? But something Billy had said stuck in his brain.

_”Do something for yourself, T.”_

It was harder than it sounded but maybe Billy was right. The day after the trip to the street fair he called his adviser up and informed her that he wanted to swap majors. She seemed irritated that he waited until the last day and there needed to be paperwork but art classes were still open. He just needed to provide a portfolio of samples of his work before the professors would accept him. Teddy assured her he would send them over as soon as possible.

His fingers immediately pulled up Billy's phone number once he finished the previous call. Teddy should text him, open up a line of communication. The silence had been going on for far too long and yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. His heart pounded hard in his chest and he worried what Billy would send back – if he would text him back at all. Would he be able to handle it if he reached out and Billy ignored him? Teddy wasn't certain. Besides, Billy was due home in a few days. It would be better to tell him in person, after all. 

Teddy sighed and slipped the phone back into his pocket, ignoring the nagging voice that said what he was doing wasn't at all improving himself. That all he'd been doing since September was fighting with himself to avoid Billy. If he really wanted to work on his sense of self then perhaps the thing he needed to stop doing was running away. He pushed the voice out of his head, deciding that it was simply loneliness that made him think those thoughts. 

Space. That's what he needed. He had to keep reminding himself that. The books had said that clarity would come in time and there simply hadn't been enough time. That was all there was to it. Stay the course, Altman, he thought to himself. Billy would understand, he was sure of it.

Holiday traditions were a little different at the Kaplan's. Teddy found out first hand the strange culture shock of not having a Christmas Tree the first year he stayed with Billy's family. It hadn't been a conscious thought but as they neared the second week of December Teddy had asked Billy when the tree would be put up. Billy had given him a strange look before shaking his head. 

“T, we're Jewish,” he said.

“Oh...” Teddy said, still taking a moment before the wires in his brain snapped together. “ _Oh_! Right! You must think I'm such an idiot.”

“Nah,” Billy replied warmly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I didn't even think that you might want a tree so we can share the stupidity.”

It was the first year he had ever celebrated Hanukkah. There was a quiet beauty in lighting the candles, the family singing the traditional songs and reciting the prayers before the glowing lights. He slipped his hand into Billy's and decided that even without a tree, the holidays were still pretty special. On Christmas Day, Billy had surprised him by putting a tree in his room decorated with cut outs of all their favorite superheroes. It became a holiday tradition for them and one that Teddy was sorely going to miss now that Billy was gone.

The first night of Hanukkah arrived. It would be the first time Teddy would see Billy since Thanksgiving. He was nervous and it must have clearly showed since Tommy was being far more vocal than normal. Teddy hadn't thought that was possible but after the third rendition of “You should have _seen_ the look on their faces when I sped by. Polar bears, man, I'm telling you. No sense of humor.” Teddy realized it was an attempt to keep his mind distracted and off Billy.

“Maybe next time you shouldn't try to feed polar bears Coca-Cola,” Teddy pointed out, walking the three blocks from the subway to the Kaplan's house. Tommy shrugged his shoulders.

“Commercials have taught me that they love it, not to mention penguins and Santa,” Tommy pointed out. “Fucking false advertising. I should complain.”

“Or, you could realize that advertisements aren't the best at education when it comes to Arctic animals. You do realize that penguins live at the _south_ pole, don't you?”

“Well, _now_ I do,” Tommy snorted. 

Teddy laughed and shook his head. He was fairly certain that most of the story was fabrication. Oh, he was sure that Tommy had run to the North Pole just to see a polar bear but the part about penguins and Santa was just too far-fetched to be real. Still, it made him laugh and that was what he needed right now as they approached the Brownstone with the dark red door.

His palms felt sweaty as he shifted the shopping bag filled with gifts back and forth. What if Billy opened the door? Did he bring _Brad_ home with him? How would he react if there was another guy in Billy's life? As if he could read his mind, Tommy reached over and punched Teddy in the arm. 

“Stop stressing, dork,” he said before hitting the doorbell. “He's the same nerd as before. College didn't change him.”

“R-right,” Teddy stammered as the door opened. Andy, one of Billy's younger brothers, opened the door and grinned brightly.

“Hey, boogerbrain!” he greeted Tommy.

“Dogbreath, how goes it,” Tommy laughed back, holding out his hand for Andy to slap. “Is the gooberface home?”

“Yeah, he showed up this morning,” Andy said without missing a beat. “Come on in. Mom said I should take your coats like you're actually _guests_ or something.”

Andy rolled his eyes as he stepped back, letting Tommy and Teddy into the house. It would never stop amazing him how easily both he and Tommy had been accepted as part of the family. Andy's expression said it all: they weren't guests at all. They belonged here. Some of the tightness around Teddy's chest loosened at that realization. No matter what happened between himself and Billy, the Kaplan's still welcomed him home. 

Teddy shrugged off his coat and unwound the brightly colored scarf from around his neck. He handed them to Andy who made a comic 'oof' sound as he climbed the stairs, mittens dropping behind him like bread crumbs. Teddy made a sound to call Andy's attention to the discarded clothes but Tommy's hand clapped on his shoulder, steering him into the kitchen.

Teddy caught his breath when he saw Billy at the table. He looked just as nervous, his fingers in his mouth as he bit his nails. The blue trimmed yarmulke perched on top of his head, his dark hair feathered out beneath. Billy's eyes landed on Tommy first and he grinned, walking over to hug his brother. Teddy stood stiff next to Tommy, still forgetting how to breathe. How was it that he could be so captivated by another person? He almost hoped that Billy would avoid eye contact but there was no such saving him. Billy's eyes shifted and Teddy felt an overwhelming urge to put his hands on Billy, tilt his head back and kiss him as he'd been dreaming about for months now.

“Hello, boys,” Rebecca Kaplan greeted as she came out from behind the counter, drying her hands on a towel. “We're almost ready to start.” 

“Are those potato pancakes I smell?” Tommy said, his eyes lighting up as he sped over to the counter, lifting up the cover before Billy's mother had time to react. Teddy ignored the chaos that was beginning to erupt around him. All he could see was Billy and for the hundredth time he wondered why in the _hell_ was he doing this?

“Hey,” he said, his voice a bit hoarse. 

“Hey,” Billy repeated, his shoulders shrugging. He shoved his hands into his pockets and he glanced away. An awkward silence filled the gap between them. They might as well have been rooms apart.

Space. It separated them now and for the first time a sliver of fear wiggled its way into his mind. The space didn't feel _right_ or _good_. There was no moment of clarity. There was only loss and silence. 

What had he done? 

“Thomas, put those down!” 

Rebecca's voice came ringing into Teddy's ears as everything in the room seemed to be amplified by a thousand. Billy's father came out with Sammy, the second of Billy's brothers, and he clapped Teddy on the shoulder. He managed a smile onto his face, putting on a happy mask he'd worn many times over the years. He felt numb, everything was too bright, too loud, too _much_. Billy moved away from him as soon as they were all shuffled into the family room, the lights down as they gathered around the _menorah_. His head spun and he felt the horrible desire to scream.

 _I'm sorry_ , his mind shouted. _When I wanted space I didn't know it would end up like this. Please, don't leave me forever. Please,_ please _say that you're not done. I'll take it back, I'll take it all back just don't let this be the end._

“Hey, you ok?” Tommy whispered as the prayers began, the center candle lit first. “You look like you're about to pass out.”

“Fine,” Teddy croaked. “Must have eaten something that didn't agree with me.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes at him, disbelief in his gaze. Teddy did his best to pull himself together. It was difficult but breaking down wasn't an option. He held the storm of emotions back behind a stony expression. He couldn't look at Billy, he didn't trust himself not to spill everything out in front of their family, interrupting the prayers. Instead he held it all back, locking it away for a better time, a better place. He couldn't lose his cool and break down when he wasn't certain that it really was over.

The first candle was lit, the prayers recited and it was time to enjoy the potato pancakes and jelly filled fried dough. Teddy sat down and brought out a bag of chocolate _gelt_ from his bag and handed it to Andy and Sammy, smiling a bit at how they immediately pulled out the dreidel, dividing the chocolate up between them. Billy's parents gifted him with a new scarf (blue and green yarn woven together with long tassels) and he in return gave them an antique decanter he discovered in the flea market. Rebecca loved antiques and her eyes lit up, leaning over to give him a warm hug.

There was only one present left in his bag as he and Tommy had agreed to exchange gifts on Christmas Day. He looked over at Billy and bit his lower lip, anxiety gnawing at his belly. He stood up and walked over to where Billy sat on the couch, his eyes glancing out the window as though he was miles away.

“So, I, um, got you something,” Teddy said, sitting down next to him. Billy jumped as though Teddy had pulled him out of his thoughts and startled him. 

“You... what?” Billy said, giving Teddy a curious look. “You didn't have to do that, you know. We're not... I mean...”

“I know,” Teddy said softly. Were his hands shaking? He sincerely hoped they weren't as he placed the gift in Billy's lap. “But I saw this and I knew it was for you.”

Billy raised an eyebrow as his fingers flipped the package over, sliding beneath the seam and lifting the tape. He ripped the paper and exposed the back of a picture frame. Teddy watched Billy's face as he turned the frame over and saw the drawing beneath the glass.

“I met some kids at a street fair,” he explained, watching Billy's eyes widen in surprise as he recognized the figure. “We all drew our favorite superheroes. There was this little girl and she drew you. She said that you were her favorite.”

A mixture of emotions crossed Billy's face. Shock, disbelief and a heartwarming love that Teddy felt his own breath catch. Maybe the distance between them wasn't such a canyon after all, he thought, his fingers twitching as he started to reach out to take Billy's hand. But then, Teddy saw something else on Billy's face that was entirely unexpected.

A flash of anger.

“Teddy,” Billy said, forcing his lips to work. “I-”

“Don't say anything,” Teddy said quickly. “I'm sure the little girl would love it if she knew her favorite hero had her picture. Think of it as a present from her, ok?”

He stood quickly, moving away so that Billy couldn't push the picture back into his lap. The rest of the night moved fast and before long it was time to leave. Relief washed over Teddy the moment he stepped out of the Kaplan's house into the chilly night air. He immediately felt ashamed and wrapped his arms around himself as though to warm himself. 

“That was fun,” Tommy said as they walked back to the subway that would take them to their apartment. 

“Yeah, fun,” Teddy agreed gloomily.

“What's the matter?” Tommy prodded. “You've been acting strange all night.”

Teddy shook his head, determined not to discuss it. If he didn't voice his fears then they never had to become real. “It's nothing,” he said. No amount of poking from Tommy could get him to talk about it. Eventually, Tommy let it drop and they ended the night in silence.

–

Christmas morning was bright and snow-less. Teddy couldn't help but press his nose to the window just as he did when he was a kid, watching his breath fog up the frost that had formed overnight. The city was quiet as most families were inside, warm and together, exchanging presents and preparing breakfast. The feeling was infectious and Teddy didn't worry about the tight band around his heart. He had cinnamon buns to put in the oven and twenty-four hours of _A Christmas Story_ to watch. 

He padded out of his bedroom still in his flannel pajama pants and traditional green Grinch t-shirt. Teddy was just headed into the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. Tommy was most likely still sleeping and he wasn't expecting anyone this early in the morning. Curious, Teddy walked over to the door and peered out of the peep hole.

Billy stood on his doorstep, his arms encircling something wrapped in bright blue paper with snowflakes. Teddy's heart thudded hard in his chest and he had to breathe before he opened the door, a smile on his face.

“Hi,” he said, hope filling his voice. “I wasn't expecting you.”

“It's Christmas,” Billy said. “Did you think I'd forget?”

Teddy shook his head quickly. “No, no, of course not. Um, come in.”

Billy walked into Teddy's apartment and looked around. “You know, this is the first time I've been in here.”

“Really?” Teddy said incredulously. “I could have sworn you were here when we moved in.”

Billy shook his head. “I was at school already. This is a first for me. I like it. I worried that Tommy would be too much of a mess for you but I should have known your mothering instincts would kick in.”

“I don't think it's called 'mothering' instincts,” Teddy laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Besides, Tommy is in and out so much that half the time I forget I have a roommate. He doesn't have much time to drop anything other than a few empty Chinese noodle containers and a can of Red Bull.”

“Because he needs the energy boost,” Billy smiled.

“Right,” Teddy agreed. “He's bouncing off the walls as it is. I think Red Bull lets time stand completely still for him.”

“I can imagine,” Billy nodded. The gift shifted in his arms and he placed it down on the coffee table, the strange awkwardness beginning to creep in. Teddy was suddenly aware that he was in pants that were worn thin and a shirt that was a touch too tight. He should change... but when had it ever bothered him to be half dressed in front of Billy before?

“I brought you a present,” Billy said, gesturing towards the gift. 

Teddy's mouth opened in surprise. “Oh, Billy, you didn't have to-”

“I had it when you came the first night of Hanukkah,” Billy explained quickly. “I just didn't know if we were exchanging gifts this year. You left sort of quickly then and since this is our day I just figured I would wait until today.”

Teddy nodded his head and reached for the package. It was bottom heavy and the paper easily ripped at the top revealing green needled branches. He pulled the rest of the paper away and stared, finding it difficult to form words.

It was a small tree just like the one Billy had given him on their first Christmas together. All over it were cut outs of Captain America, the Hulk, Iron Man – all of the comics that he and Billy had first bonded over. He reached out and touched the ornaments, realizing they were hand laminated. 

“I love it,” Teddy said softly.

“I thought you might,” Billy said, his voice a touch sad. 

Teddy didn't stop himself from reaching out and touching Billy's hand. He hooked his fingers around Billy's, a silent _I'm sorry_ hanging in the air. They stood like that for a moment, Billy looking down at their hands before he slipped his fingers away, pushing them into the pocket of his jeans.

“I should go,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Why don't you stay,” Teddy said quickly, not ready to let the moment fade just yet. “I was just about to put on cinnamon buns and watch _A Christmas Story_ marathon. You could stay for the first showing at least. I know you can only handle so much of the same film over and over again.”

Billy bit his lower lip, conflict written all over his face. For a heartbreaking second, Teddy thought that he would refuse. But the moment passed and Billy nodded his head, his smile a bit more genuine this time. “All right,” he said. “But I get to lick the icing out of the pan. I call dibs. Tommy can suck it.”

Teddy laughed, his face lighting up. “You got it,” he winked. “Want some coffee?”

“Is that even a question?” Billy snorted, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it on the back of the chair.

“Formality,” Teddy snickered. “Large mug of coffee coming right up. Just make yourself at home.”

Billy sat down on the couch, picking up the remote control and turning the TV on. Teddy opened the refrigerator and looked out, smiling. He really did easily make himself at home. _This_ was how things were supposed to be. Now, all he had to do was to make amends and he could get back from the exile he'd put them both through. If Christmas was any indication, perhaps the space wasn't as expansive as he had first thought.


	7. New Year's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you to stop playing games with me,” Billy said, but he licked his lips unconsciously. Teddy didn't miss the way his eyes dilated now that he was trapped against the edge of the bed and the heat of their temper mixing with their overheated bodies causing his pulse to beat hard just underneath his skin. 
> 
> “I'm not fake,” Teddy insisted. God, he wanted him. The desire rushed hot through him now. He needed to show Billy that nothing about this was a lie. 
> 
> “You never show me,” Billy said, his voice deeper. He put his hand up to stop Teddy from pinning him closer to the bed. Teddy grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth, his gaze dark as he slid Billy's fingertips against his lips.
> 
> “I can show you now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Chapter 7 and we've had to change the rating from Mature to Explicit.
> 
> A warning before we start:
> 
> Billy is very drunk. The sex is consensual but if it bothers you that Teddy has sex with a drunken Billy you can skip the scene. Imagine that it fades to black after :
> 
> _Billy was his and he dropped Billy's arm, his hands sliding up into Billy's hair, tilting his head back and capturing his lips in a searing kiss._
> 
> And it picks up:
> 
> _“I told you, nothing is fake,” he murmured against Billy's lips. “I love you. That's never changed.”_
> 
> It gets a bit intense, a bit sad, but stick with it for the boys turn a corner.

** New Years **

Hot sweat dripped down Teddy's back as he stared across the dance floor, his eyes following two bodies tangled together, grinding to the heavy thumping music. Anger and jealousy pulsed through his veins and he fought to control himself, but even now after years of training he could still feel his skin ripple and flash green. He tried to remind himself that he didn't care. He had been the one to ask for space, after all. Of course, he didn't show up to the party expecting to watch as Billy rubbed up against strange men all night long, ignoring him in the process.

What in the hell was he thinking? They had been on speaking terms after Christmas. Hell, he and Billy had even met for coffee. Teddy had thought they were bridging the gap, taking steps to get back to normal but the moment he walked in the door of Kate's New Year's Party with Tommy and David, Billy had flatly refused to acknowledge him. It was unnerving, frustrating, and pissing him right the fuck off.

“Stop,” David said, his arms around Teddy's shoulders. Teddy had practically forgotten that he was dancing with him. His head was positioned on Billy, watching as he broke away from the tall brunette and stumbled toward the bar, grabbing one of the bright, neon blue drinks and downing it in two gulps.

“Stop what?” Teddy snapped, turning to face David. He wasn't dancing anymore. His body was rigid with anger and he could feel the change bubbling underneath the surface.

“You're shifting,” David reminded him gently, brushing his fingers against Teddy's cheek. 

“I'm fine,” Teddy frowned, pushing David's hand away from him. “No one can tell if I'm a little greener than normal. Not like any _one_ is paying attention to me.”

“You mean _Billy_ isn't paying attention to you,” David scowled. 

“No,” Teddy huffed. “That's not what I meant at all.”

David rolled his eyes. “Altman, you can't lie to me. You're horrible at it. Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me that you _haven't_ been watching Kaplan like a hawk?”

“No,” Teddy said, angry that he'd been so easily discovered. “No, but, damn, does he have to be practically _screwing_ those other guys on the dance floor?”

“What do you care?” David pointed out, his arms sliding up fast around Teddy's neck. “We were dancing pretty hot and heavy there, too.”

David's leg was suddenly pressed between Teddy's own, causing him to catch his breath. “What are you doing?” he asked, hands on David's hips as he struggled to keep up. He felt like he was losing a game of chess, always three moves behind.

“It's almost midnight,” David said, his lips achingly close. “Time for that New Year's kiss. Besides, Kaplan already has his tongue down that guy's throat so what harm will it do if you indulge me?”

“He _what_?”

Teddy pushed David away roughly and turned, his eyes scanning the crowd. He spotted a dark corner where two bodies were discretely trying to forget the rest of the party. His teeth clenched as he stalked across the dance floor, his heart sinking when he saw that David was right. Billy was practically _climbing_ the other guy's body, his mouth open as he sucked on the other guy's tongue. Red, hot anger rushed through him and he grabbed Billy's shoulder, pulling him away hard.

“Wha-?” he said, his eyes half glazed over with alcohol and lust.

“What are you doing?” the other guy demanded. Teddy involuntarily grew taller, glaring down at him.

“I'm taking my _boyfriend_ out of here before he does something incredibly stupid,” he hissed.

“Your boyfriend?” the other guy said, looking down at Billy. “He didn't say anything about having a boyfriend.”

“That's because I don't have a boyfriend,” Billy spat, pushing Teddy's hand hard off his shoulder. “Don't touch me!”

“You're drunk,” Teddy said, grabbing Billy's wrist. 

“I said, don't _touch_ me!” Billy shouted, a spark of blue racing out to push Teddy away. “Fuck, I'm not afraid of you. Go ahead, go all Hulk on me. You can't even come up with your own damn gimmick. You fake _everything_. Nothing is fucking real when it comes to you. Don't talk to me, don't even look at me. If I want to fuck the first guy I run into then it's not your business!”

Teddy felt as though Billy had punched him. He let opened his hand, letting Billy pull his wrist back. Billy walked away, grabbing two glasses of blue punch before pushing his way out the door. Teddy could feel the eyes of the crowd on his back and his face heated with embarrassment and humiliation. He didn't turn to see who had seen the outburst – they all had to have witnessed it, all heard Billy call him a fake. 

The words stung and a burning anger churned in the pit of his stomach. He followed after Billy, speeding up as he reached the doors. It wasn't difficult to find where Billy had gone. One of the discarded glasses was down the hall and the door to one of the many guest rooms was partly open. Teddy pushed the door open hard, happy to see the startled look on Billy's face as he spun around. Teddy kicked the door shut behind him with a satisfying slam and grabbed the drink in Billy's hand, throwing it hard against the wall with a loud smash.

“Just what the _fuck_ was that about?” Teddy hissed, anger bubbling beneath the surface. He knew it was rippling across his face, his skin shifting from green to pink and back again.

“I was drinking that,” Billy scowled. 

“You've had enough,” Teddy frowned, his hands clenched into fists. He wanted to reach out and shake Billy. 

“You can't tell me when I've had enough,” Billy said, poking Teddy in the chest. “You lost that privilege when you broke up with me in August.”

“I didn't break up with you!” Teddy said, his hands gesturing wildly. 

“Oh, cut me a fucking break,” Billy snorted, his hands crossing his chest. “You told me I wasn't Mr. Right. Let me see if I remember it correctly. You said, and I quote, 'No one finds Mr. Right at sixteen.' If that wasn't you breaking up with me then you have a pretty fucked up idea of what it means to go out with someone.”

“That's not what I meant,” Teddy insisted. His head was spinning and he wondered if anger and jealousy could make you just as drunk as alcohol. “I wanted some space to clear my head. I didn't mean for you to go out and hop into bed with the first guy you saw.”

“Says the guy who fucking hopped into bed with _David_ ,” Billy lashed back with venom in his voice. “Or did you just conveniently forget that he was the one who broke us up the first time!”

“I didn't have sex with David!” Teddy replied hotly. “I never even kissed him! We went on three dates – three – and then I told him I wasn't into him.”

“Could have fooled me with the way you were all over him tonight,” Billy said. “If that's how you act with people you _don't_ date I'm surprised we're not fucking right now.”

“Is that what you want?” Teddy asked, closing the distance between them. Billy took a step back, his legs bumping the side of the bed. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“I want you to stop playing games with me,” Billy said, but he licked his lips unconsciously. Teddy didn't miss the way his eyes dilated now that he was trapped against the edge of the bed and the heat of their temper mixing with their overheated bodies causing his pulse to beat hard just underneath his skin. 

“I'm not fake,” Teddy insisted. God, he wanted him. The desire rushed hot through him now. He needed to show Billy that nothing about this was a lie. 

“You never show me,” Billy said, his voice deeper. He put his hand up to stop Teddy from pinning him closer to the bed. Teddy grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth, his gaze dark as he slid Billy's fingertips against his lips.

“I can show you now.”

Teddy could feel Billy shiver, his fingers brushing against the tip of Teddy's tongue as he parted his lips. He heard Billy gasp, a small whine in the back of his throat. “Let me show you,” Teddy continued, his lips pressed hot against Billy's wrist.

“Teddy...”

It was a warning. He should stop, he knew that. Billy's arm was practically shaking beneath his mouth as he trailed kisses up the sensitive skin of his forearm, letting his tongue lick the line of muscle. A strangled moan escaped Billy's lips and Teddy knew he had him – drunk or not. Billy was _his_ and he dropped Billy's arm, his hands sliding up into Billy's hair, tilting his head back and capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

Billy's body tensed suddenly, his hands pushing against Teddy's shoulders. Teddy's tongue slid against Billy's mouth, tasting coconut and alcohol as he teased Billy's lips open. Billy made a sound that made Teddy weak and the tension suddenly left Billy's body being replaced by a rush of _want_. Suddenly, Billy was sucking his tongue into his mouth and making soft keening sounds that went straight to Teddy's cock.

Hands scrambled for the hem of his shirt and Teddy let Billy rip the polo off his body, easily shrugging it off and dropping it to the floor. Billy's mouth disappeared from his only to take up residence on his neck, biting the skin leaving a row of red – purplish bruises. Teddy hissed, his own hands drifting beneath Billy's shirt to touch too hot skin.

Billy's tongue slid down Teddy's chest, making Teddy hiss loudly. He felt the warm, wet brush against his nipple and moaned deep in his throat. His hands moved to Billy's shoulders and he pushed him onto the bed, kneeling fast in front of him. He kissed him again, unable to keep himself from tasting him as he tugged Billy's shirt up, breaking the press of lips only to toss Billy's own shirt somewhere in the room.

Hands weaved into his hair and Teddy closed his eyes, letting Billy tug his head back. He sighed, knowing that Billy grew a touch rough when he had been drinking and needing it this way. Talented fingers unbuttoned Billy's tight jeans and Teddy was tugging them down even as Billy was fucking his mouth with his tongue, the kiss wet and dirty.

Lust and want was blinding him – pushing out all thoughts of what they should or shouldn't be doing. They both were too far gone for anything resembling rational thought, the rush of anger mixing with alcohol and the fact that it had been too damn _long_ since Teddy had been able to touch Billy the way he wanted, the way he dreamed of touching him even though it was his own cock in his hand late at night.

Teddy pulled his mouth away from Billy's and he leaned his head close, pressing his forehead to Billy's as he gazed into his dark, almost black eyes. “I'm going to suck you,” he whispered, his fingers already drifting beneath the elastic of Billy's boxers, wrapping around his hard arousal. “Get you slick and wet, my tongue sliding around you.”

“Ngh,” Billy moaned, his eyes fluttering closed as his fingers tightened in Teddy's hair. Teddy's thumb brushed against the tip of Billy's cock, sliding the wet droplets of precum against the surface.

“But I won't let you come,” Teddy continued, knowing just how much Billy loved it when he described everything in detail. “Not yet, not until you're buried inside of me.”

“ _Teddy..._ ”

The sound was strangled as though the images were enough to push him close to the edge. Teddy could feel Billy's cock twitch in his palm and he eased his strokes, not wanting him to come too fast. He licked the curve of Billy's mouth, smiling. God, he _loved_ the fact that he could have Billy trembling from a few touches, a few simple words. It was the most incredible feeling in the world and one he kicked himself for having denied himself for so long.

“I'll take that as a yes,” he murmured before ducking his head, his hands moving from Billy's cock to pull his boxers down. Teddy took in the sight of Billy's hard cock before he slid his mouth over him, sucking him down his throat to the base.

Billy's head fell back, his hands moving from Teddy's hair to the comforter on the bed, twisting the sheets hard. He felt like a live wire beneath Teddy's tongue, his body growing more rigid with every slide of his mouth. Words spilled from Billy's mouth – nonsense babbling as Teddy buried himself in the scent of sweat, sex and _Billy_. He almost forgot what he had planned to do, so intent on letting Billy crash beneath him that he nearly missed the warning signs, the small, higher pitched whines as Billy reached the peak.

Teddy slowed his movements, bringing him back down and sliding his mouth away from Billy's cock with a low 'pop'. Billy collapsed on the bed, his arm over his eyes as he moaned softly, reaching out for Teddy. “Please,” he said softly, his voice wreaked with need. “ _Please_ , Teddy... I...”

Teddy unbuttoned his own jeans and slipped them off his hips, gasping softly as the air felt cool around his own aching cock. He crawled up onto the bed, straddling Billy's hips as he reached across and grabbed a few pillows from the top of the bed, helping to prop Billy's head and chest up so he could watch. Teddy leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Billy's lips before leaning up on his knees, sucking his index and middle finger into his mouth slowly.

He heard Billy groan loudly, his hips arching up. Teddy smiled and spread his legs, dragging his fingers out of his mouth and leaning forward as he pressed them inside his tight ring of muscle. He shifted around his fingers, easily stretching himself with little pain. There were some benefits to being a shapeshifter after all. Once he was satisfied, he licked his opposite palm, wrapping it around Billy's cock and stroking him before he positioned himself over the head of Billy's arousal and sank down around him.

Billy's cry grew as Teddy pulled him into the tight heat of his body. He gasped, loving the feeling of having him inside. He angled his hips back and started a slow, agonizing rhythm. Billy arched his body up, the alcohol making him far more languid then he otherwise would have been, laying back and reaching for Teddy's shoulders. The cries were a scrambled mixed of words and phrases, blending in with Teddy's own sounds. 

He could feel it, his orgasm building like slow heat. His hand wrapped around his own cock and he stroked himself, crying out each time Billy brushed against that sensitive bundle of nerves. Billy's words grew in pitch once more, his head tossing on the pillows beneath him. It was too much, just right, so close and Billy's eyes squeezed shut as he came.

Teddy could feel him pulse deep inside of him, the sensation enough that another rough twist against his own cock had him spilling onto Billy's belly, white light flashing behind his eyes as he crashed. He leaned back, feeling Billy soften inside of him before he pulled away, sliding next to Billy. He kissed him softly, feeling the lethargy that was such a stark contrast to the hot burst of flame a few moments ago.

“I told you, nothing is fake,” he murmured against Billy's lips. “I love you. That's never changed.”

“I know, T,” Billy said softly, his words slurring. He didn't open his eyes, instead reaching up to run his fingers through Teddy's hair. 

“Do you?” Teddy asked softly. 

“Mmmm,” Billy nodded. He was drifting off, the combination of orgasm and alcohol taking him fast. Teddy grabbed a corner of the comforter and cleaned them up before tucking Billy into bed, curling up behind him. He kissed Billy's shoulder, a strange sadness settling over him now that it was over.

“I really do love you, B,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around Billy's chest. “Always and Forever.”

Darkness and a soft snore was his reply.

–

The jingle of bells roused Teddy from his sleep. He rolled onto his back and stretched, feeling sore in places he hadn't for a long while. A smile drifted across his face as he reached out in the dark room, expecting to find the warm, sleepy body next to him. Strangely, the bed was cool. There was only a slight lingering warmth left behind on the sheets. Teddy sat up, suddenly very awake. Something wasn't right.

“Billy?” he called, the ringing of bells continuing unabated. The was no answer, nothing that said there was another person in the room. Teddy pulled the sheets back and stepped out of bed, walking around to pick up his pants from the floor. The jingling grew louder from his pocket and he fished out his phone, seeing that he had forgotten to turn off his alarm.

Seven thirty am. No new messages.

Billy was never an early morning person. Any time before ten was the crack of dawn as far as he was concerned. Unless you had a cup of steaming coffee waiting for him, good luck trying to convince him out of bed. The fact that Billy was gone meant that something had gone wrong last night. A large, heavy pit formed in his stomach as he realized there was only one possible thing that could be.

Sex. They'd had sex. It had been good, _wonderful_ , but it wasn't anything like they normal had together. For the first time in his life Teddy had a sense of what a one night stand felt like the morning after. Pulling the same clothes on he had worn the night before made him feel strangely used and dirty. He'd never wanted a shower so much in his life and it hurt to think that, considering it had been Billy in his bed the night before. 

Teddy opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, the windows letting in the early morning light. It was cold outside and he shivered, wondering if anyone had picked up his sweater from the ballroom the night before. He certainly wasn't going to go looking for it, not right now. If he was lucky he could grab his coat from the closet, catching the subway back to his apartment before anyone was up. He needed a shower, some new clothes, and time to think about what it was he'd done to seriously fuck up his life. 

He was just about to pass the door to the kitchen when he heard a low cough. His head turned and he bit back a curse when he realized his dreams of sneaking out of the Bishop's house without being seen were now dissolving into dust. Kate sat at the kitchen table nursing a large mug of coffee. She didn't need to say anything, the look she gave him spoke volumes: _Sit down and spill._

Teddy sighed and walked into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. Kate pushed a mug of coffee that she had waiting for him. “Thanks,” he mumbled, taking a sip. It was still scalding hot and incredibly strong – just the way Kate liked it.

“Mind telling me what's going on?” she asked, turning her head to the side as she watched him carefully.

“Would you believe if I said I drank too much?” Teddy wondered out loud. Kate didn't smile. Joking was not going to work this time.

“Bullshit,” she said, leaning forward, her elbows on the table. “Everyone saw your fight last night, Teddy. You weren't the one who was barely upright. I'm surprised Billy was able to make his way home this morning. Idiot shouldn't be using his powers hung over.”

Teddy choked on his coffee. “Is he-?”

“Tommy's with him,” Kate said, waving her hand. “You know he can't keep still most nights. He was setting the coffee pot in the kitchen when his twin senses kicked in. Do you think I enjoy getting woken up at five am after I'd just gone to sleep at three?”

She pointed to her face, gesturing underneath her eyes. “Circles, Teddy. I get them enough out in the field. I do _not_ expect them when I'm home on vacation. Tell me what's going on.”

Teddy stared down at his coffee. There were somethings he just wasn't ready to get into but he doubted Kate was going to let him go without an explanation. “I fucked things up,” he said after a long pause. “I've been trying to figure things out and I think I just made everything worse. Last night, I was so angry and he was so drunk... I shouldn't have slept with him, I know that, but I did and now I think I really hurt him this time, Kate.”

Kate reached out and put her hand over his. “You need to talk to him,” she said gently. “I've never seen you torture yourself so much. The words are there but they don't do anyone any good if you don't voice them.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Teddy asked her, feeling desperate. “I thought that everything was fine until last night. I didn't realize how angry he was with me.”

“You didn't?” Kate said, looking unconvinced. “You're saying that all this time you've been playing the avoidance game because 'everything was fine'? Teddy, what you guys went through last year – what we all went through – doesn't get healed without a bit of work. Did you really expect to be the same person you were before all of that started? Did you expect Billy to be the same person? Pretending that all of that goes away the moment life seems normal again is silly. You know better than that.”

“I know,” Teddy said, holding her hand tight. “I just really hoped we could go back home again. I forgot that you can never go back. The Shire isn't the same place it once was before we left.”

“Ok, Sam,” Kate smiled. “Now all you have to do is remember what made you fall in love with Bilbo in the first place because that never changes. I see the way you've been pining. It, like everything about your relationship, is like a disgusting fairy tale.”

Teddy laughed softly, the caffeine and her words breaking down the sour pit of despair that had gripped him hard when he had woken up. “I just need to figure out how to have a happy ending,” Teddy replied, leaning back in his chair. “And it's Frodo. Bilbo is Frodo's uncle.”

“Whatever,” Kate snorted, rolling her eyes. “The point is you both need to talk. _Really_ talk. Like feelings and emotions and all of that stuff that you think the other person already knows but they don't because you never say it. Use your lips for something other than making out for once. The make outs can come after you make up, get me?”

“I got you,” Teddy nodded. 

“Good,” Kate said, lifting the mug to her lips. “And if I hear about anything other then the fact that you're working through your shit _together_ I will stick an arrow so far up your ass you'll need it surgically removed.”

“You're kind of scary sometimes, you know that,” Teddy chuckled. 

Kate smirked. “So I'm told. Finish your coffee, go home and call him.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Teddy said, saluting her with his coffee mug. “That's why you're the boss, boss.”

Kate stood up and moved around the table, kissing the top of Teddy's head. “Love you,” she said softly. “Love you both. Fix this, ok?”

“I will,” Teddy promised. “I'll make this right again.”

She ruffled his hair, her fuzzy pink slippers making a shuffling sound as she walked away. Teddy realized that she must have been very worried about him to remind him three times to put everything right. He'd let things get out of hand and now, somehow, he had to mend what he had broken. He finished his coffee, the burning liquid waking him up and strengthening his resolve. 

He _would_ fix things. Billy wasn't going to slip through his fingers without a fight.

–

**Billy**

Thursday, January 1st 10:45 am

Hey 

I wanted to talk about last night

Think you could come over later?

Thursday, January 1st 2:13 pm 

Tommy said you were leaving tomorrow

I was serious about that talk

Look I'm sorry... I just... I don't want to do this over text

Please come see me before you leave?

Thursday, January 1st 5:25 pm

So I ordered some pizza.

It's here if you decide to drop by.

At least let me tell you I'm sorry in person.

I'm downstairs. Gimme a second...

Teddy looked up from his phone when he heard the knock on the door. The butterflies started then, his stomach a jumble of nerves as he stood up and walked over to the door. He'd been picturing this moment all day, going over every possible scenario so that he would be ready. Billy's silence had worried him and he was beginning to think that he'd lost his chance to explain. He hesitated with his hand on the door knob, the nerves tightly winding themselves into a loaded coil. Whatever happened at least the terrible tension would end.

Billy stood in the hallway looking pale and drawn. Teddy had seen enough people at the coffee shop hung over to know what it looked like. “Hey,” he said, opening the door wide. “Come on in. I was starting to think that you had changed your number on me. Can I get you a slice of pizza?”

Billy's face turned faintly green and he shook his head. “I think I saw what the inside of my stomach looks like this morning. I'm not ready for food.”

“Right,” Teddy laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Um, why don't you take a seat? I think we have some soda. Ginger ale sound good?”

“Yeah, but not too much. I still have to get home to pack.”

His words stopped Teddy, a hesitation in his movement towards the fridge that was difficult to hide. “You're still planning on heading back now?” he asked, trying his best to keep his voice light and conversational. 

“Yeah,” Billy said, sitting down at the kitchen table. He didn't bother to take his jacket off, Teddy noticed. He stared at the table, tracing invisible lines that Teddy couldn't see while he spoke. “I guess I miss Boston. Funny how some cities start to feel like home after a bit.”

“Funny,” Teddy repeated, hiding his face behind the refrigerator door. How was he supposed to do this without breaking down? Hot tears burned his eyes and he brushed them away quickly, taking long deep breaths of cold air to clear his head. He counted to five before grabbing a can of ginger ale, bringing it over to the table before slipping into the seat opposite Billy.

“Thanks,” Billy said softly. His fingers opened the soda with a soft click and a hiss. The fizzing of the soda was the only sound between them for a long moment. Teddy watched him, struggling with warring emotions. Fix it, Kate had said. The problem was that Teddy didn't know how.

Billy looked up at Teddy before shifting his eyes. “So-” he started.

“I'm sorry we had sex last night,” Teddy blurted out. Billy's eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You are?” he asked, his voice guarded.

“Yes... I mean, no...” Teddy stammered, trying to piece together what it was that Billy wanted to hear. That was the wrong thing to say, apparently. Billy's face darkened and he withdrew from the table, sliding back in his chair.

“Well which is it?” he asked, anger in his voice. “Yes or no. It can't be both.”

“It isn't both,” Teddy continued, struggling to form the right words – the ones that would make Billy stay. They were in his head, somewhere. He used to know all the right things to say but now, now everything he uttered pushed Billy farther away. “Of course it isn't both. What I mean to say is that I wanted to have sex with you but I didn't mean for you to be drunk. I didn't give you the opportunity to say no and I... I never meant for that to happen.”

Billy sighed, leaning forward. His hair dropped in front of his eyes keeping Teddy from seeing any emotion in them. “I would have slept with you even if I had been sober,” Billy said softly. 

“You would have?”

He couldn't keep the note of hope in his voice. Billy flinched and pulled his hands into his lap. “Sex was never a problem between us. But it isn't going to happen again, Teddy. I can't. It's too much.”

Teddy swallowed hard. “What do you mean?”

“I'm tired,” Billy said, letting his eyes flicker up through the fringe of dark hair. His brown eyes were sad and incredibly hurt. “I can't keep doing this. I haven't heard from you in months. I left you a voice mail back in September. I had hoped that you had called to work this out but there was nothing. And every time I think that maybe we could fix it – David walks in and steals you away from me. Again and again and again. I can't, T. I can't wait for you to figure out whatever issues you're dealing with. You might not have found your Mr. Right at sixteen but I did and I can't watch him destroy himself. I can't let you bring me down with you. If space is what you want then that's what you'll get. Because I'm done.”

Numbness spread throughout Teddy's body as he listened to Billy's words. Done? He couldn't be done. That phrase was never supposed to come out of Billy's mouth. In all of the different scenarios Teddy had run through his head, this was never a possibility. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't make a sound. He sat across from Billy, his face turning to stone.

Billy watched him, his eyes searching. “Nothing?” he said, the anger coming back. “That's all you have for me? _Nothing?_ After _everything_ I've just said you still sit there like you're some fucking ancient gargoyle with no expression?”

Teddy cleared his throat. “What do you want me to say?” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Anything! _Something_!” Billy shouted, his voice cracking. “Show me that you fucking care that I said I was through!”

“Name it and I'll say it,” Teddy said. “Whatever you want-”

“ _Listen to yourself_ ,” Billy cried, the tears that were threatening to rush down his face were hot and red in his eyes. “What happened to you? You're like some robot – a shell of a person. Where did you go, T? And why did you leave me behind?”

Billy's pleading broke through the cold that had wrapped around him. He'd been holding so much back for so long that he didn't know what to do with the emotions that flooded through him. He reached out, grabbing Billy's hand, his own eyes red with unshed tears.

“Because you don't need me,” he said – the words echoing like a form of sick deja vu. Billy's hand jerked in his own but Teddy held tight. “Wait, please? Let me explain.”

“I don't think I can hear this again,” Billy sobbed. “I can't hear you tell me this.”

“You're so much stronger than when we first met,” Teddy continued, letting the words fall out of him like a faucet. “I used to think that I was your protector. No one touched you or hurt you when I was around. I would always be right next to you, to put myself in front of you whenever you were in danger. I knew who I was – what I was supposed to do. But then it changed... we changed. You don't need a protector. You can stand all on your own in front of the world and I... I don't know where I fit anymore except as some pawn to be used against you. All I've ever wanted was _you_ but not if it's going to put you in danger. So if the only way I can be your protector is to walk away... then that's what I have to do.”

Billy snorted. “That is the _stupidest_ thing I have ever heard.”

“Maybe,” Teddy said softly. “But it's how I've felt for a long time. I can't be your damsel in distress. I won't let others use me to hurt you.”

“So you'll hurt me instead?”

“Better than watching you die while trying to save me,” Teddy said. “I'd sacrifice myself for you – give up the only thing I have left if it guarantees that you're safe.”

“Don't I get to have a say in this?” Billy asked, squeezing Teddy's hand in return. “Don't I get a chance to fight for you? To fight for us? You can't make my decisions for me. I _need_ you. I've always needed you. That _never_ changed.”

Teddy swallowed hard. “I was wrong,” he said, struggling to put things right again. “I was wrong to push you away. I should have said something – talked about what was going on in my head.”

“You should have,” Billy agreed. “We've lost another year together. How many are we going to lose because we don't talk to each other?”

“No more,” Teddy continued, shaking his head. “I promise you. I won't let another year slip by because I forget to share my thoughts with you. It won't happen again.”

Billy took a deep breath and looked away. The tension was back in his face and he blinked his eyes rapidly, his lower lip shaking. “I can't,” he said quietly. 

“What?” Teddy's voice was broken. “What do you mean you can't?”

“You've walked away from me twice,” Billy continued, his eyes pointed towards the ceiling as he struggled for control. “I won't be able to watch you walk away from me a third time.”

A part of him felt as though it were dying. Pain lanced through his chest and he didn't think he could breathe. “Please,” he begged, scrambling for Billy's hand again. “ _Please_ you can't mean that. I won't walk away. Please, please, don't say that it's over.”

Billy closed his eyes, pulling his hand away from Teddy. How was he going to be able to survive without Billy? He'd lost everything in his life – everyone he had ever loved had died and now he'd driven Billy away. He couldn't let this happen. Not again.

“What can I do to convince you that I'm sincere?” he asked. 

“We can't go back to what we had,” Billy said with a sad shrug of his shoulders. 

“Fine,” Teddy said forcefully. “Then let me start over. Let me show you that you mean everything to me. That I'm willing to fight for us.”

“I don't know,” Billy sighed. “I want to, T, I really do but it still hurts.”

“Let me at least try,” Teddy pressed. He stood up and walked around the table, kneeling in front of Billy. “You told me that I never do anything for myself. That everything I always do is for other people. I _want_ you. I _need_ us together. This is want I want the most. Please, let me try again.”

Billy was quiet for a long moment. Teddy didn't breathe – he didn't dare move. If he stayed in this long stretch of time then he'd never be disappointed. He could keep Billy with him always, never knowing that in some universe Billy would say no. The thought frightened him and he closed his eyes, hoping for a chance.

Billy ran his fingers through Teddy's hair, tugging on the shaggy ends affectionately. “How can I say no to you?” he whispered softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Teddy said, a sad smile on his face. “Does that mean you'll try?”

“Yes. Let's see if we can start over again.”

The floodgates opened and relief washed over Teddy. He leaned up and pulled Billy into a tight, crushing hug. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing a hot kiss to his hair, his cheek, his lips-

Billy pulled away suddenly and put his hand over Teddy's mouth. “No,” he said sternly. “Starting over means everything is off the table. If we're going to make this work then there are some rules we're going to need to follow.”

“What rules?” Teddy asked, his voice muffled behind Billy's hand.

“First off, no kissing,” he said, his lips curling up at the edges. It was the first hint of a smile Teddy had seen in a very long time. “When we met the first thing we did wasn't jump on each other and shove our tongues down our respective throats.”

“I wanted to,” Teddy said, a small smile of his own forming. “But you're right. It was a strictly 'no jumping zone'.”

“So, we start as friends,” Billy continued. “And then we'll see. We'll take it slow. We have all the time in the world. There's no reason to speed through this.”

“Ok,” Teddy agreed. “I can do that. I can be friends.”

“Secondly, and this one is very important, we need to talk.” Billy's face was stern as he searched Teddy's eyes once more. “This isn't going to work if you only tell me what I want to hear. I don't care how much you think I'm going to hate what you have to say or if you're jealous or angry. You need to talk to me. We need to talk to each other.”

“Deal. Anything else?”

Billy grabbed Teddy's shoulders hard and pressed his forehead against Teddy's, his voice intense. The switch was so fast that Teddy was caught off guard. He wobbled a bit, grabbing hold of the table to keep from falling over.

“Thirdly,” Billy hissed. “Never, _ever_ sacrifice yourself for me. I don't give a shit how noble you think you are. I swear to whatever gods there are, I will never forgive you. You stand _next_ to me, support me as my partner. I need you there, T. Otherwise, I'm lost.”

“I won't,” Teddy said. “I swear it.”

“Good.”

Billy sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. The grin slowly appeared on his face until it was too difficult to hide. Teddy found that the grin was infectious and returned the happy look. Billy reached out and touched Teddy's cheek, a wistful expression in his eyes.

“There you are,” he said. “You're starting to come back. I thought you were gone forever.”

“Not forever,” Teddy said, taking Billy's hand and kissing his palm. “I'll always come home to you.”

Billy made a soft sound in the back of his throat, his fingers curling up against Teddy's cheek. They sat like that for a long moment. It had been far too long since they'd simply touched without any hesitation or masks. 

“Well,” Billy said, pulling his hand back and standing up. “I should be heading back. I still need to pack.”

“You're still leaving?”

Billy nodded his head. “I told you, I miss Boston. That wasn't a lie.”

“Oh,” Teddy said. The facebook picture flashed in his head. Maybe it wasn't Boston that he missed but Brad. Damn, Teddy hadn't even considered what Billy would tell his new boyfriend.

“Hey, I'm sorry again for last night,” Teddy said as Billy headed towards the door. 

“Don't be,” Billy shrugged. “I'm sorry for leaving this morning. I just didn't think you wanted to see me all pukey.”

“I've seen worse,” Teddy laughed, following him over. He opened the door and let Billy step out into the hallway. 

“Yes you have,” Billy grinned. God, was there anything more beautiful than that man's smile? “Text me later, ok?”

There was a hint of worry in his voice. Teddy nodded. “Of course. Oh, and say hi to Brad for me, ok?”

“Who?” Billy asked, confused. 

“Nothing, no one,” Teddy said quickly. “I just thought.... never mind.”

“Tell me,” Billy reminded him, his arms crossing his chest. “This is what I was talking about, T. No more keeping anything back. Who the fuck is Brad?”

“Your boyfriend,” Teddy blurted out. 

“My what?” Billy replied, shocked. “I don't have a boyfriend.”

“Yes you do. The guy in the pictures with you on Facebook. Tall, brown hair, really good looking.”

Billy blinked at Teddy, confused until it all suddenly made sense. “ _Jamie_?” he sputtered. “You thought I was dating _Jamie_?”

Teddy felt rather foolish. “I'm going to take that as you're not dating him,” he said slowly.

“Hell no,” Billy snickered. “Jamie is my roommate. My _straight_ roommate. Why did you think his name was Brad?”

“You're going to think this is stupid but it was the preppiest sounding name I could think of,” Teddy admitted.

Billy was quiet, his lips quivering for a moment before he burst out into laughter. He leaned against the wall, taking long deep breaths as he doubled over, tears streaming out of his eyes for an entirely different reason. “Oh my god,” he wheezed. “I can't believe... only you, T. Honestly.”

Teddy shrugged his shoulders. “So maybe I was a little jealous. You guys looked like you were having a blast and I was missing you.”

“Well, now you can stop this moping around and come visit me,” Billy said, reaching over and hitting Teddy's shoulder. “You don't have any more excuses. You're coming up, right? That's what friends do.”

“Of course,” Teddy grinned brightly. “That's what friends do.”

“Good. I'm holding you to that.”

Once again they stood for a long moment, neither of them really wanting to end what was slowly building between them. The gap that had felt so massive before seemed a little smaller. Billy was closer than he had been yesterday and Teddy was grateful, relieved, and happy. 

“I'll text you,” Teddy promised. “Go or you'll forget to pack your IronMan boxers.”

“How can I forget them when they're my favorite pair?” Billy rolled his eyes. He gave Teddy one final wave before he turned and walked down the hall. Teddy stood in his doorway and watched until Billy turned the corner and disappeared. 

_Friends._

Yes. Teddy could do that. It was a start.


	8. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy squeezed Billy's hand, stepping closer. His gaze dropped to Billy's lips and he wanted to kiss his mouth, needing to feel that happiness again. He dipped his head unconsciously, watching as Billy caught his breath in his throat. Could he feel the cold melting away, their own body heat warming them? 
> 
> The moment was broken as a loud screech broke through the silence. Teddy stepped away, his heart beating in his chest. That had been close. He'd almost crossed the line, something he promised himself he wouldn't do. Billy had wanted to take things slow. No matter how much he wanted to throw the rules out the window, he would try for Billy.
> 
> The train hissed to a stop in front of them, the doors rolling open and people pouring out. Billy dropped Teddy's hand and stepped into the cab, taking a seat against the window. Teddy followed, dropping into the seat next to Billy. He willed his heart to stop beating so fast and by the time the train began to move again, Teddy felt he was almost back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are trying to work things out and Billy introduces Teddy to his two friends at college.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading along. I'm so glad you're enjoying it and I hope you like this next chapter. Much more fluffy than it has been which is a nice break.
> 
> Thank you as always to Court (Breila_Rose). She constantly pokes me to keep going, keep writing, and help unstick me when writers block sets in.

** January **

**Billy**

Saturday, January 3rd 11:30 am

snowtommy.jpg

I'm in the library... is that Tommy?

How did you get him to stand still long enough to cover him in snow?

Never underestimate my powers of suggestion

Plus, I distracted him with a picture of Kate in a short skirt.

He never stood a chance ;)

...

Your evil knows no bounds

>:D

Bwahaha

Wednesday, January 7th 5:14 pm

I'm so booooooooorrrreeed

I think I've read every issue of The Amazing Spiderman at least twice

Stop me from covering Jamie's bed in webbing

Why would I stop you?

That sounds amazing!

... pun intended

You are such a dork! :p

Tell me something I don't know

My middle name was almost Fernando

LOL What???

I'm not kidding! My Mom loves that song.

Ahahaha - This explains so much! Now your love of Mama Mia makes much more sense.

I don't know what you're talking about. Abba is awesome.

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando!

I'm going to regret telling you that, aren't I?

Friday, January 9th 8:02 am

coffee.jpg

Good morning!

asw4redtfyuh

... bless you?

dropped the phone.

It's too early

Go back to bed.

I've been up for two hours.

Unicorn

*underwear

GDI UNNATURAL!

LOL!

I think I like unicorn underwear better :p

stupid phone

Monday, January 12th 12:34 pm

Hey, what are you up to this weekend?

Nothing much

Was going to marathon Lord of the Rings with Tommy

Extended edition?

Is there any other version I'd watch?

Point.

I was wondering if you wanted to take a trip up to Boston this weekend.

There's a Winter Festival going on in town

Monday, January 12th 12:39 pm

It's no big deal if you can't

Maybe some other time

No, no, I'd love to come!

I don't have patrol this weekend and I'll call off of work.

It sounds like fun

It should be

So I guess I'll see you on Saturday?

I'll be there with bells on!

Keep the bells at home, goof :p

\--

The Boston Terminal was crowded. People pushed past each other bundled up tightly, barely even looking at each other as they searched the throng for a familiar face. Teddy shifted his bags on his shoulder as he did the same, looking for Billy. It didn't take him long before he found him, his face flushed from the cold.

“Billy!” he called, watching as Billy's head turned in his direction. For a moment he was afraid that he'd be greeted with the same look he'd seen during the holidays – a sad broken smile. The fear was quickly shattered when a bright smile crossed his face. All the worry that had plagued him during the trip disappeared. 

Billy pushed his way through the crowd before he finally reached Teddy. “Hey,” he said, looking far happier than Teddy had seen in months. “How was your trip?”

“Crowded,” Teddy laughed. “I thought the Christmas rush was bad but this is insane.”

“Classes are starting up again soon,” Billy explained. “Plus, the Winter Fest is kind of a big deal. Apparently it draws in up to fifty thousand people.”

Teddy whistled. “You're going to have to make sure I don't get lost. All those people – I may blend right in.”

Billy raised and eyebrow and lifted up Teddy's rainbow scarf. “I don't think blending in is going to be a problem,” he joked.

“You just don't appreciate my fashion sense,” Teddy sniffed, smoothing down his scarf.

“Right, because hobo chic is so in right now,” Billy snickered. 

“And there's that sarcastic wit that I was missing,” Teddy replied fondly. “So glad to see you haven't lost that in your exile here in Boston.”

“Are you kidding me? I think it's gotten worse,” Billy laughed. He reached out and grabbed Teddy's hand, tugging him lightly. “Come on. Jamie and JJ are waiting for us on campus. They wanted to come but I didn't want them to overwhelm you.”

They weaved through the train station hand in hand. After months apart Teddy wanted to pinch himself. The station melted away and all that was left was Billy's hand in his, grinning as he babbled on. It was as if a damn had broken and all of the stories that Billy had been holding back burst out of him. Teddy found it hard to keep up and it wasn't until they were standing at the platform for the next train that he had an opportunity to speak again.

“So, let me get this straight,” he said as Billy paused to catch his breath. “Jamie's girlfriend is also named Jamie?”

“They met at orientation,” Billy grinned. “I think I knew Jamie for five seconds before he was head over heels for her. She goes by JJ, though. Don't call her Jamie if you like having your balls attached.”

“She sounds a bit like Kate,” Teddy laughed.

“If Kate was five two, a biochemistry major with blonde hair,” Billy added. “But yeah, they're a bit alike. She's not afraid to kick someone's ass. Jamie's got it bad for her.”

“And what's he like?” Teddy asked curiously. 

“You'll love him,” Billy gushed. “I think he's nerdier than the both of us and that's saying something. I've never seen someone so devoted to Minecraft before. Figures he's an engineering major – he can build a bridge out of anything. We were at the diner one night and he managed to balance a cup of coffee on four cups of creamer and eight packets of sugar. Don't ask me how he did it. The man is a genius.”

“He sounds like it,” Teddy smiled. It was so good to see Billy excited again. His cheeks were flushed from the cold and his breath puffed out in white clouds, animated by each story. He loved to see him like this and silently cursed himself for ever taking this happiness away.

“You look happy,” he pointed out, his voice echoing a bit on the platform. The crowds had thinned down leaving them alone waiting for the train.

“I am happy,” Billy admitted with a big smile. He reached out and grabbed Teddy's hand. “I'm really glad you came up. I've wanted to introduce you to them for awhile now.”

“I'm glad I'm here, too.”

Teddy squeezed Billy's hand, stepping closer. His gaze dropped to Billy's lips and he wanted to kiss his mouth, needing to feel that happiness again. He dipped his head unconsciously, watching as Billy caught his breath in his throat. Could he feel the cold melting away, their own body heat warming them? 

The moment was broken as a loud screech broke through the silence. Teddy stepped away, his heart beating in his chest. That had been close. He'd almost crossed the line, something he promised himself he wouldn't do. Billy had wanted to take things slow. No matter how much he wanted to throw the rules out the window, he would try for Billy.

The train hissed to a stop in front of them, the doors rolling open and people pouring out. Billy dropped Teddy's hand and stepped into the cab, taking a seat against the window. Teddy followed, dropping into the seat next to Billy. He willed his heart to stop beating so fast and by the time the train began to move again, Teddy felt he was almost back to normal.

“So, which one is our stop,” Teddy asked. 

“Oh, um,” Billy said, clearing his throat. “We'll be getting off at the BU Central station. The Winter Fest is a few blocks down.”

“Sounds good,” Teddy nodded. “I hope Jamie doesn't mind that I bunk down in your room tonight. I hadn't planned on heading back until tomorrow.”

Billy was quiet. Teddy looked over at him, curious. He hadn't think to mention that he'd spend the night. He didn't think it would be that big of a deal but now he wasn't so sure. The expression on Billy's face was far too serious. Had it been a mistake to assume he was invited to stay the night?

“If it's a problem-” Teddy started before Billy cut in.

“Jamie usually stays with JJ in the city,” he said, turning to smile. “I don't think he'll have a problem if you sleep in his bed.”

“Oh, ok.”

Separate beds. He had been hoping that perhaps Billy would let him sleep next to him. They'd shared a bed before without having sex when they were younger but perhaps this was better. Safer. He'd nearly kissed him on a cold train platform. Teddy didn't want to imagine how difficult it would be curled up next to him while he slept.

The clacking of the train echoed in the car, filling in the space of the silence. Teddy slid his hand over the plastic seats to take Billy's hand. The touch was better than words and he smiled when Billy wrapped his fingers with his, pulling Teddy's hand into his lap.

A loud screech sounded and the train slowed to a stop. Billy looked up, the digital sign above the doors indicating 'BU Central'. “This is us,” he said, standing up. Teddy grabbed his bag and hefted it onto his shoulder before following Billy out. The cold air made him wince and he raised his shoulders, trying to hide his cheeks in his scarf. Billy tugged on his hand again before he stopped, raising his arm to wave.

“There they are,” Billy announced, looking up at Teddy. “Now, remember what I said about overwhelming...”

Billy didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before a loud, booming voice called Billy's name. Teddy looked over and saw the handsome boy from Billy's Facebook picture. It was difficult to think of him as anything other than _Brad_ but he put a smile on his face, his hand out to greet him. He hadn't expected to be embraced in a tight bear hug by a guy he'd only just met.

“You must be Teddy,” Jamie said, giving Teddy a large thump on the back before releasing him. His voice had a strange twang to it, Teddy noticed. Not quite southern but definitely rural. “I'm Jamie but you can call me Brad if you like.”

“Jamie,” Billy groaned, hitting the boy on the arm. The boy's hazel eyes light up when he laughed. Teddy was rather happy that this guy wasn't gay. He could see how someone could be attracted to him and he'd only known him for five seconds.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Teddy chuckled nervously. “That should teach me to read the hashtags before making assumptions.”

“Well, you know what they say when you assume,” a female voice said dryly. “They make an ass out of you.”

Teddy looked over to see a pretty, short blonde girl with purple glasses. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Teddy, her look icy. “I think it goes 'make an ass out of you and me'", Teddy offered. The girl pursed her lips together.

“No, I got it right,” she said.

“JJ,” Jamie laughed nervously, putting his arm around her shoulders. “You're such a kidder. She's got that weird, dry sense of humor.”

“Yeah,” Teddy said although he wasn't so sure. The girl narrowed her eyes at him before turning to Billy. Teddy watched as her entire body language changed and she smiled. It was like looking at a completely different person.

“You're going to love the festival,” she gushed, grinning brightly. “My parents have taken me every year. There are rides and ice sculptures and one of those little ring toss kiosks where you can win stuffed animals. Plus, they sell snow on the mountain. Have you ever had that?”

“A pile of berries with coconut shavings,” Teddy offered. “My mom used to make it for dessert sometimes.”

JJ turned and sniffed, not impressed at all. He got the feeling that she didn't like him much. Why she felt this way was a complete mystery to him. Was it something he had said? 

“Anyway, you guys are going to have the best time,” she continued, hooking her arm with Jamie's before reaching out to Billy. It was clear that the invitation didn't extend to Teddy and he tried hard to keep the smile on his face when Billy turned his head.

“You coming, T?” he said.

“Right behind you,” Teddy nodded, picking up his bag and following them down the street. He watched as the three of them walked arm in arm, laughing about some joke that he didn't quite understand. Teddy didn't want to admit it but he felt like a fourth wheel, an outsider looking into a part of Billy's life that he'd missed. All of that time he'd wanted space to work on himself he'd really been obsessed with Billy. And Billy had found a life for himself, a place where he wasn't the bullied kid or the overly powered mutant. He had friends. He had a _life_. Teddy wanted to be a part of it but he was struggling to find where he still fit.

The Winter Fest turned out to be a street fair mixed with a mini carnival. Vendors lined the streets selling everything from homemade crafts to greasy street food that tasted the best when eaten with friends. Teddy did his best to ignore the cool glances from JJ which wasn't as difficult as he first thought. She and Jamie spent most of the time pouring over the different vendors, picking out the geekiest t-shirts and accessories with loud exclaim.

“Is that what we look like?” Teddy asked Billy when he observed JJ picking out some blocky looking sunglasses and placing them on Jamie's face, posing him for a photo. 

Billy smiled, reaching over to pull off a piece of funnel cake from the plate in Teddy's hand. “I guess so,” he said. “Although, I think we were accused of being even more disgusting.”

“It's sweet,” Teddy observed. “They have something special.”

A strange look crossed over Billy's face – a sad sort of happiness that confused Teddy. He wanted to ask what was wrong when Billy finished the last of the funnel cake and grabbed Teddy's hand. “Come on,” he said. “I think I saw some games a block over. Let's see if you can win me a prize.”

Teddy shook his head as Billy pulled him down into the carnival section of the festival. Arcade style games lined the street, their largest prizes hanging down to entice the people walking by. Basketball Shoot-Out, Leap Pad Frog Jump, Balloon Pop, and Ring Toss signs blinked at them, waving the two boys forward to try their luck. “You know,” Teddy grinned as Billy carefully inspected each game. “I could probably just buy you a stuffed animal if you really wanted.”

“And where would the fun be in that?” Billy rolled his eyes. “This is what couples do on dates, genius. You're supposed to win me a stuffed animal.”

Teddy's heart jumped in his chest. “This is a date?” he asked softly.

Billy's cheeks flushed a bit and he shook his head. “You know what I mean. Hey, I think I found the perfect game for you.”

A red and yellow sign flashed at them on top of a large sliding pole, a hammer resting next to it. “Test Your Superhero Strength!” the game announced. All along the thermometer like pole were blocks of color, each marking off a superhero strength. “Can you beat Thor?” the game shouted down at them, the lights racing up and down the sign.

“This feels like cheating,” Teddy murmured to Billy.

“It's a carnival game,” Billy whispered back. “The odds are already stacked against the rubes. Using your strength will make it fair.”

“ _Rubes_?” Teddy repeated, raising his eyebrow. “Are you a carny now?”

“Hey, I read,” Billy huffed, pushing Teddy over to the game. “Move your ass, Altman, I want a prize!”

Teddy laughed, letting Billy steer him over to the game. Various sizes of stuffed superheros hung down in a large prize tent, the “You Tried!” smaller prizes were in a box wisely situated behind a giant green Hulk. The caller's eyes lit up when he saw Teddy and Billy approaching. Probably already calculating how much money they were going to be throwing away, Teddy thought.

“So, boys, which one of you is strong enough to try the Hammer of the Gods?” the man said, rubbing his hands together.

“He is,” Billy grinned, pushing Teddy forward. 

“How much?” Teddy asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet.

“That will be five for one try, three for ten,” said the man, holding out the hammer. Teddy's hands hesitated over the five dollar bill before plucking out the ten.

The man took the money and folded it around a large wad of bills before placing it in his apron pocket. “Here you go, lad,” the man said, handing the hammer to Teddy. The rubber mallet head was heavy and Teddy gripped the wooden handle, getting a feel for the weight.

“Now, what you wanna do is aim for that plate right there,” the man instructed. “And hit it as hard as you can. That's all you gotta do – right? Easy peasey.”

“Yeah, T,” Billy cheered. “ _Super_ easy.”

Teddy bit back the urge to groan at Billy's pun. He glanced back at him and saw a wide grin on Billy's face, a shrug of his shoulders that said he wasn't at all ashamed of the terrible joke. “I think I got it,” Teddy said, turning to face the pad at the bottom of the pole. He squared his shoulders, lifted the hammer over his head and brought it down with a muffled 'thump'.

The slider jumped a few points, the lights blinking on before flashing back off. “Peter Parker level,” the caller smirked. “Come on, son, you can do better than that.”

“Seriously, what was that?” Billy laughed.

“Just give me a minute,” Teddy said, squeezing the handle. “I know what I'm doing.”

He lifted the hammer again and swung it down with more force, the slider moving faster the second time. It slid to a stop a bit more than halfway up the pole before falling back down. “Wolverine,” the caller announced. “That's enough to win one of the smaller prizes. You can pick out -”

“Wait,” Teddy said. “I get one more try.”

“Oh, you're a betting man, are you?” the man smirked. “I'll tell you what – if you can beat your last score then I'll give you the next prize up. However, if you can't beat it then you'll walk away with nothing. What do you say, son? Want to make a little wager?”

“Sure,” Teddy grinned. “But you're going to give me one of the larger prizes on this next swing.”

“Kid, if you manage to ring that bell at the top I'll eat my hat,” the man snickered.

Teddy lifted the hammer one last time and brought it down. The pad shook with the force of Teddy's swing, the slider rocketing to the top of the pole. The bell at the top clanged violently before the slider fell back down again. The man stood open mouthed, looking up at the bell.

“Woo!” Billy clapped, wrapping his arm around Teddy's shoulders. “I knew you had it in you!”

Teddy managed to look sheepish as he handed the hammer back to the man. “Guess I don't know my own strength,” he said with a shrug.

“Yeah, whatever,” the man said, pointing to the large prizes hanging down. “Take your pick.”

“I'll take the Hulk,” Billy said, pointing to a mid-size green doll with purple pants. The man pulled it off the rack and handed it to Billy, immediately shifting his focus to the new crowd of people who had drifted over at the sound of the bell. Teddy smiled, poking at the plush toy.

“The Hulk, huh?” he said, trying hard to hide his amusement. “Any particular reason?”

“None whatsoever you big cheater,” Billy snickered. “I can't believe you put on a show like that.”

“Hey, can't let anyone think something was up,” Teddy replied, failing at looking innocent. 

“Right,” Billy said, his tone disbelieving. “And you call yourself a hero. I shake my head at you, sir.”

“Oh, do you?” Teddy laughed. “You shake your head at me?”

“Watch me,” Billy grinned. He slowly moved his head back and forth. “And there's nothing you can do about it.”

“That sounds like a challenge, my good man,” Teddy retorted, playfully scowling at him. He quickly grabbed the stuffed Hulk from Billy's hands and used it to bonk him on the head with the plush fists. “Hulk not happy with how you shake head,” he growled, his voice deep and Hulk like. “Hulk smash puny boy!”

“ _Puny_?” Billy scoffed. “I'll show you who is puny!”

He pulled the Hulk back from Teddy, using it to smack him in retaliation. Teddy laughed, putting up his hands to ward off the soft blows. “No, not Hulk smash! It's too much! No!”

“Hey, guys,” Jamie called, walking up to the two boys. “JJ and I were thinking about hitting up the rides. Are you... oh... I didn't mean to interrupt.”

Teddy turned just as Billy hit him one last time in the face with the Hulk doll. His cheeks were flushed, his arms around Billy's waist when he realized that Jamie's expression looked awkward. “You're not interrupting,” Billy said, stepping away from Teddy. “T just won me a prize.”

“A Hulk doll?” JJ observed, raising an eyebrow. “That's... random.”

“Not really,” Teddy said, looking down at Billy. He smiled – a secret smile that was just between them. “It's sort of a private joke.”

“Must be a good one,” Jamie laughed. JJ didn't look amused. Her entire body seeped a vibe that was directed at Teddy. He didn't think he was imagining it any more. The girl _really_ did not like him. 

“Anyway, did you guys want to try out the rides? The Ferris Wheel looks pretty sweet. I bet we could get a good view of the entire festival from up there.”

“Sure!” Billy said. “How about it, T?”

Teddy nodded his head, hoping for more distance. Jamie was nice but JJ made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. The Ferris Wheel wasn't far from the arcade games and soon they were standing in line. He had expected to find himself in a car with Billy but as the ride was moving, the guys working the ride shuffled them up fast and Teddy slid into a two person car with the one person who he had been trying to avoid: JJ.

“See you at the top!” Jamie called from the car in front of them.

Billy waved at them from the other car. Teddy waved back before turning around, deciding the least he could be was cordial. JJ's body language said otherwise. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she pointedly avoided looking at Teddy, watching out the side of the car instead. Teddy tapped his fingers on the seat next to him, hating the pregnant silence. 

“So,” he said the moment the car started to move, swinging them back and forth as it began to climb. “Billy told me that you met Jamie at orientation. That's nice.”

JJ didn't respond. She shifted in her seat, pulling her feet up onto the seat next to her and continued to stare away from Teddy. The car climbed, shifting until it was underneath Billy and Jamie's car before it came to a stop.

“Billy and I met when we were joining a group,” he continued. “Not quite the same as orientation but we were fast friends. It's funny how-”

“Stop,” she snapped, her green eyes narrowing at him through purple rimmed glasses. “I don't want to talk with you. Let's just sit here in silence until the ride is over.”

What was with this girl? “You don't like me much, do you?” he asked. She snorted and gave him a look that said he was dumber than a sack of bricks.

“Gee, what gave you that idea?”

“Why?” he continued. “What did I do to you?”

“Hey guys!” Billy's voice called down from above. “Having fun?”

“It's not what you did to me,” she said flatly, scowling at him. “It's what you did to _him_ that pisses me off.”

Him? Did she mean Billy? “We're fine,” he called back, before turning his attention back to JJ. “I didn't do anything to Billy,” he said. 

“Oh, you're one of _those_ ,” she snapped. “You think just because you're hot you can string him along, using him when it's convenient for you and then dumping him when you're done. Let me tell you something, buster, you're not all that. Billy is so much better than you. You don't deserve him.”

Teddy blinked, her tirade unexpected. Was that what Billy had said he'd done? “That's not what... I didn't...” he stammered a bit. “You don't understand us.”

“I understand a lot more than you think,” she sniffed. “And from what I see, you're just a jealous prick who likes to put on the nice guy routine when it suits you best. I can see right through you.”

The car creaked as the Ferris Wheel began to move again. Teddy didn't know what to say. She was so far from the truth and yet, maybe that's exactly what it looked like to anyone who only knew one side of the story. Billy had been very hurt when Teddy tried to give them both some breathing room and he was silly to think that others wouldn't pick up on it, especially not the two people who had become his best friends in college. Without knowing Teddy at all, JJ had formed an opinion of him that was frighteningly what he'd always feared he'd become – someone who used other people for their own gain, who wore masks and refused to let anyone see the real person because that person was lost long ago.

To become someone like Greg Norris.

The car screeched to a stop. The air blew cold through the little car and Teddy shivered. He glanced down to see the streets below, the people walking along like ants. It reminded him of flying and he smiled sadly.

“Once upon a time you were right,” he said softly. “Before I met Billy I was on the fast track to becoming that kind of guy. I had a friend who was just like that. He used me to get what he wanted and the moment I tried to stand up to him he'd beat me back down. Not with fists but with his words. I thought that was the only way I could get anyone to like me. But then, I met Billy and it didn't matter what I looked like or how he wanted me to act. He was the first guy I could be _myself_ with and I've never wanted to lose that.”

The car began to move again and Teddy looked back to see JJ watching him cautiously. “Billy made me realize I could be better,” he continued. “I'd do anything for him.”

“Then why did you break up with him?” she asked.

Teddy sighed. “Billy and I have been through a lot. He was there when my Mom died and we lost some really good friends. It's been rough and I thought that he didn't need me. That coming here would be better if we had some space. I was wrong and I hope I can fix it.”

JJ was quiet for a moment, the car shifting until they were over top Jamie and Billy. They were laughing about _something_ and Teddy smiled. “You guys were there for him when I couldn't and I'd never think to take that away. For that, I want to thank you. He's _happy_ and there was a long time when I didn't think I'd be able to see him truly happy again.”

“He's hard not to love,” JJ said, a smile creeping onto her face. 

“Yeah, but don't tell him that or he'll just say that you're crazy,” Teddy chuckled.

She laughed, quickly covering it up and adopting a serious look. “You hurt him,” she said. “Not just once but multiple times over the past few months.”

“I know,” Teddy said sadly.

“No, I don't think you do,” she frowned. “I know that you and Billy have been pretty serious for a long time. He loves you and it killed him to see you ignoring him.”

“I'm trying to make everything right again,” he explained to her. “It will be different this time. _I'm_ different.”

She gave him a look that made him feel as if he was being examined under a microscope. Teddy fought the urge to squirm under her gaze. “If you hurt him again, you'll be sorry,” she said. “And you don't want to mess me with the girl who knows six different ways to slip a poison in your drink without you even realizing it.”

Teddy laughed. “You know, somehow I'm not surprised. I promise. On my honor, I'm in this relationship one hundred percent.”

The car began to descend on last time, reaching the platform. JJ reached out her hand and smiled. “Then I'd like to introduce myself,” she said, her icy tone missing. “I'm JJ and while I can be a bit of a bitch, it's only because I care about the people around me.”

“Nice to meet you, JJ,” Teddy said, taking her hand and shaking it warmly. “I'm Teddy and I promise you I'll take care of Billy. You won't see him hurt again because of me.”

The car stopped and JJ climbed out first, wrapping her arm around Jamie's waist. Billy gave Teddy a curious look as he stepped out onto the platform. “What did you guys talk about?” he asked.

“How great you are,” Teddy grinned. Billy snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Something tells me you're full of it,” he said, walking back down to the street. Billy bit his lower lip, watching his friends as they walked in front of them. “Hey, I want to apologize for JJ. She's usually really sweet. I don't know what's gotten in with her today.”

“You don't have to,” Teddy said with a shrug. “I think I know why she hasn't been herself today. She's just trying to make sure I'm not looking to hurt you again. That's what good friends do.”

Billy looked a little surprised before he smiled. “Did she threaten to kick your ass?” he laughed.

“Worse, she threatened to poison me,” Teddy winked at him. “She reminds me even more of Kate.”

Billy shook his head. “Jamie has his hands full. They're both great. I don't think I would have made it through this year without them.”

“I can tell,” Teddy agreed. He took Billy's hand in his and squeezed it gently. The last thing he was going to do was push Billy away again. He meant what he said to JJ – he was in this with all his heart. There was no room for any doubts. Billy was the only person he wanted to stand next to when the world ended which was hopefully later rather than sooner.

Billy squeezed his hand back, his arm shifting to reveal the Hulk doll. There was something different about it. “Did that doll always have blonde hair?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Oh, well I modified it a little,” Billy said, a flush in his cheeks as he showed Teddy. Not only did the Hulk now have blonde hair, there were tiny green wings stitched on the back. 

“I messed with it when Jamie wasn't looking,” Billy confessed. “I like it better this way.”

Teddy leaned down and kissed Billy on the top of his head. “I like it better this way, too.”

The world melted around them and all that was left was Billy. Teddy smiled down softly, wanting to do more than just kiss him softly on the head. But it was enough for the moment to hold Billy's hand and to be with him in Boston. He was the most important thing in his life and nothing was going to take that away from him again.

“Hey, are you guys coming?” Jamie called back to them.

“Yeah, wait up!” Billy shouted over the crowd as they raced over to JJ and Jamie. There was no place he would rather be, Teddy thought. Being with Billy felt like coming home.


	9. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ask me after this dance,” Teddy said, pulling Billy even closer so that they were practically cheek to cheek. He could feel Billy catch his breath. It felt so much like their very first date that the nostalgia hung heavy around them. They swayed silently to the music, letting the song do all of the talking for them. The heat inside the little greenhouse seemed to grow the longer they danced leaving streaks on the windows from the droplets as they fell. The snow grew thicker outside capturing them in a snow globe. Teddy felt Billy’s hands brush up against the back of his neck. He smiled, leaning his forehead down against Billy’s own. Not for the first time he wondered how he could possibly think of existing without Billy in his arms. This felt _right_ and altogether perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last: the Date.
> 
> I don't think anymore needs to be said except, as always, thank you Breila_Rose for not giving up on me.

**February**

The weeks slipped by in a flurry of snow, art projects, and phone calls.

Every night Teddy found himself curled up on the couch, the phone by his ear or his computer on his lap with Billy on the other end. They hadn't talked so much in over half a year. Teddy realized how much he missed talking. He'd lose himself for hours listening to Billy's voice, laughing over a silly story about Jamie's misadventure meeting JJ's parents ( “He broke the lock off in their bathroom and was stuck in there for two and a half hours,” Billy laughed. “JJ's mom didn't want her dad to break the molding of the door. Apparently it was an antique!”) to lamenting over the unfair grading methods of a sour TA.

“No matter what I write she gives me a C+”, Teddy sighed, flopping back on the couch. “Either I'm just a terrible essay writer or she's not reading them and everyone gets a C+.”

“Why didn't they warn us of that in high school?” Billy said.

“What, you mean like devote an entire class to moody Teacher's Assistants?”

“Or make it a section on the SATs,” Billy offered with a laugh. “Where none of the answers matter and everyone gets the same grade no matter what. It's the epitome of the word 'standardized'.”

“It's a good thing you're not an education major,” Teddy snickered. “My professors would tear your proposal apart and lecture you on multiple intelligence and backwards design models.”

“Wait, your professors?” Teddy could hear the confusion in Billy's voice over the phone. “Are you taking education classes?”

“Yeah, didn't I tell you?”

Damn. Teddy knew there was something he had forgotten to tell Billy. Changing his major had happened before he patched things up with Billy and it slipped his mind. Now he was afraid that Billy would perceive that as a secret Teddy was trying to keep from him and he sat up, nervously drumming his fingers on the back of the couch.

“No, you didn't,” Billy said softly. “In fact, you've never really talked about school, at least, not specifics. Come to think of it, I don't even know what classes you're taking.”

“I'm sorry,” Teddy said quickly. “It slipped my mind. Sometimes I forget that you don't see me every day.”

“Then tell me, T. I want to hear everything.”

“It's really not all that exciting,” Teddy chuckled, relaxing a bit. Billy didn't sound upset, just curious. “I remembered what you said at Thanksgiving and I decided that what I really wanted to do was not just take art classes but something that would let me share what I love with others. Art education just seemed the right fit.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Teddy wished that they were doing this over a video call. He could usually tell what Billy was thinking. Billy wore his emotions proudly on his sleeve but over the phone, it was more difficult especially with Teddy's imagination taking over.

“Are you still there?” he asked after a few minutes of silence. “I didn't lose you, did I?”

“No, no,” Billy said suddenly. “It's just... T, that's _amazing_.”

Teddy blushed. “Picking a major is amazing now?”

“When it's just so perfectly _you_ it is,” Billy laughed. “It's better than my 'liberal arts and hope for the best' plan.”

“Nothing wrong with that plan,” Teddy chuckled. “And, really, switching my major just added two new classes. It's first year so not too much has changed. I don't start shadowing schools until next spring.”

“Should I start practicing by calling you Mr. Altman?” Billy said. Teddy could hear the smile in his voice.

“Tommy beat you to it. He's been slipping as many 'hot for teacher' references as he can get into our conversations. It's getting to be a bit ridiculous.”

“I'd be surprised if Tommy didn't make those jokes,” Billy laughed.

“Your brother specializes in inappropriate comments,” Teddy replied. “I can't take him anywhere.”

“Why would you want to? Tommy is a special kind of wrong.”

The door opened as if on cue and Tommy burst in carrying bags of groceries. “I think he heard you,” Teddy snickered, sitting up and waving at Tommy. “He just came in.”

Tommy wrinkled his nose in playful disgust as he walked into the room. He dropped the plastic bags on the table with little fanfare. Teddy stood up and walked over to the kitchen where Tommy had dropped the bags. He set the phone on the counter and hit the button for speaker phone. “I was just telling Billy about the time you called me Mrs. Robinson,” Teddy remarked, pulling out bag after bag of chips and snacks.

“How was I to know she wasn't a teacher? I don't watch movies older than me,” Tommy snorted.

“Philistine,” Billy said, his voice a bit grainy over the speaker.

“Ooo, big words, college boy,” Tommy mocked.

“Did you buy _any_ real food?” Teddy reached into the bag and pulled out a frozen pizza to add to an assortment of frozen finger foods. “I think everything in this bag has eight pounds of sugar added.”

“Hey, you just gave me money and said go pick us up some food. You never specified what qualifies as 'food'.”

Teddy laughed and held up a bag of corn chips. “Frito's don't count as their own food group, you know.”

“And that's why I bought cheese dip to go with them,” Tommy retorted, grabbing the bag. “You know, vegetables and dairy. See? I'm thinking of our health.”

“Do you see what I have to live with?” Teddy laughed, talking towards the phone on the table.

“You were the one who was crazy enough to live with him,” Billy snickered. “I guess you're stuck with his food choices.”

"I'm not stuck with anything," Teddy laughed. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. "Thankfully I still have a few spots where I squirreled away real food just in case this would happen."

"I think I liked you two losers better when you were fighting," Tommy said sarcastically. He plucked the jar of dip from the bag and grabbed the 2-liter bottle of soda, carrying it under his arm. "I'm heading to my room. Keep it down if you suddenly get the urge for phone sex. I don't want to know."

“Oh, that reminds me,” Teddy said suddenly, turning his back on Tommy.

“Phone sex reminds you of something?” Billy replied. “Should I be worried?”

“No, no, it's nothing like that,” Teddy said quickly, feeling his cheeks heat at the thought of phone sex with Billy. What would that be like? No, never mind, he was getting off topic.

“I wanted to ask you if you were doing anything this weekend.”

“Just the usual thing,” Billy said. “I think Jamie, J.J. and I were going to catch a movie. Why?”

“Oh, well it's not a big deal if you have plans.”

“What is it, T?” Billy's voice grew softer, urging Teddy to continue. His stomach was suddenly a large ball of nerves and Teddy felt the same as when he and Billy had first started dating. He took that as a good sign.

“Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me on Saturday. On a date. With me. Here, in the city.”

It wasn't the most eloquent of proposals, Teddy had to admit, but it had been a long time since he'd asked anyone out. The silence on the other end of the line didn't stop the nervous butterflies. He waited, counting the seconds, until he couldn't stand it any longer.

“Hello? Billy? Are you still there?”

“Y-yes, yeah, I'm still here,” Billy said.

“Ah, I thought I may have been talking to myself. That would have been embarrassing.”

“No, I didn't lose you.”

Billy still hadn't given him an answer and the anticipation was starting to drive him crazy. It was the second time he had struck Billy speechless. For it to happen once in a conversation was unusual. For it to happen twice was down right bizarre.

“If it's too fast -” Teddy started, deciding to give Billy a way out when Billy's voice spoke over top of him.

“Yes,” Billy blurted out. 

“Yes it’s too fast or yes, you’d be interested in a date?” Teddy said, hoping for the latter option.

“Yes, I’m interested. In a date. With you.”

Billy’s equally stilted acceptance made Teddy beam. At least he wasn't the only one who was completely nervous. It was a familiar feeling and one that made him think that they were on the right path to fixing their relationship.

“Good,” Teddy said. “Perfect. Um, what time should I expect your train to come in on Saturday?”

Billy laughed. The sound made his insides knot in pleasant ways. 

“Trains are far too expensive for someone who can literally _pop_ over,” Billy snickered. “What time do you want me to arrive?”

“How does six sound?”

“If that’s p.m. then you have a deal,” Billy said with that edge of sarcasm to his voice that made Teddy hold the phone closer to his ear. “Otherwise…”

“No, I know. There’s no amount of caffeine in the world that will get you up to be able to teleport at six a.m. I want you here in one piece and not scattered all over Queens, thanks.”

“As long as we understand each other,” Billy said. The sound of the door came faintly through the speaker and Teddy heard Billy’s voice grow faint as though he turned his head, greeting whoever had walked in. It sounded as though it was Jamie but Teddy couldn’t be too sure, not until Billy’s voice was clear once again.

“Well, I need to hop of,” Billy sighed. “Jamie’s locked himself out of JJ’s apartment and he’s too afraid to call her. It’s a long story. Anyway, he needs me to, well, you know.”

“Be your amazing, charming self?” Teddy offered.

“Hardly,” Billy snorted. “I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have told Jamie about my ability. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve had to help him out of a jam. I might be re-named the human key finder with the amount of times I’ve - ow! Hey!”

There was the sound of a scuffle and suddenly the voice on the phone was deeper, that light bend to each word distinctively Jamie. “Don’t listen to him,” Jamie said quickly. “He’s over exaggerating. So, did you ask him out yet?”

Teddy blinked in surprise. “How did you know?”

“JJ,” Jamie laughed. “She bet me you’d ask him out for Valentine’s Day. Thanks to you, I have to sit through _Love, Actually_ for our movie date.”

“Sorry?” Teddy chuckled.

“Nah, don’t be. I’m a Kiera Knightly fan so it works. But if I _pretend_ not to like it then I’m keeping my man card. Whatever that is.”

“Well, good luck,” Teddy wished him, just as Billy must have grabbed the phone back. Teddy could only imagine the red flush on Billy’s cheeks. Next time, he really should remember to Skype.

“Anyway, I should get going,” Billy said quickly. “I’ll meet you at your apartment, then?”

“That sounds great,” Teddy smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

There was a brief pause at the end of the call, an empty hole where a well worn phrase belonged. The words stuck in Teddy’s throat and his heart beat faster, wanting to say them. _I love you._ But the moment passed and Teddy stumbled over his goodbye, hanging up the phone with a push of the red button.

Teddy walked over to the couch and flopped down, leaning his head back against the cushions. His emotions were whirling inside of him, excitement and anxiety warring with each other. Billy had said yes. It was funny what a few simple months of communicating did to change everything. But what if it wasn’t enough? The thought was always at the back of Teddy’s mind. He felt like a tightrope walker, balancing his way across an endless chasm to the other side. Billy was worth it, of course, but one wrong move and he’d tumble. It was the worst case scenario, that inspite of all the work Teddy had put into making himself better that it would be too little, too late.

Teddy sighed and rubbed his eyes. It didn’t help to focus on the negative. Billy had said _yes_ and that was all that mattered. Now he had to spend all of his time and energy in putting together a date that would show Billy just how much he still cared. And that, Teddy thought with a smile, was something he was very good at.

\----

 

Nothing. 

All week Teddy had been scouring his brain for the perfect first date and _nothing_ seemed to fit. How was it possible that he’d dated Billy for so long and he couldn’t think of one thing to do? Dinner and a movie seemed too generic and far too much like a normal day than anything special. A night out in the city seemed too awkward. Besides, they had already visited every romantic spot. Teddy wanted to impress Billy, to show him that things had changed but all he could think of was old dates and tired movie tropes.

As the days slipped by he grew more and more anxious. He'd taken to writing lists, jotting down anything that came to mind. The ideas ranged from the banal ( _Take a Walk in the Park"_ ) to the outright bizarre ( _Locate the nearest Circus and eat cotton candy with clowns?_ ). He discarded the post-it notes and slips of paper on the coffee table, waiting for that spark of creative inspiration. Why was this suddenly so damned difficult?

"Clowns? You realize Billy has a fear of clowns, don't you?"

Teddy looked up to see Tommy sifting through the scraps of paper, his nose wrinkled as he held up the most offensive idea. Teddy sighed. He needed to face reality - the date was destined to be an utter failure.

"I know, I know," he said, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "It wasn't a serious idea. But I can't think of anything so I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel for something."

The expression on Tommy's face was one of sarcastic disbelief. It bothered Teddy and he felt suddenly defensive. "What?" Teddy demanded. "I'm being honest! I don't know what to do. The date has to be _perfect_. Maybe I should call and cancel..."

"That is such bullshit," Tommy snorted. "How long have you been dating?"

"Three years?" Teddy replied weakly.

"What was your first date? Did you fly to fucking Paris and have a date on top of the Eiffel Tower? Did you dance on the surface of the moon in the first month you were sucking face?"

"Well, no, I mean we did those things but not until later..."

"Exactly. The whole point of this stupid thing is to go back to basics. So stop trying to be wonderful and just be you, you idiot."

Teddy stared at Tommy for a moment before a smile burst across his face. "That's it," he said, jumping up suddenly. Tommy stepped back. It was pretty clear that wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

"What's it?" he asked suspiciously.

Teddy laughed and walked over to Tommy, pulling him into a giant bear hug. "You're a genius. That's exactly what I need to do."

"I've been trying to tell you that for ages," Tommy said. "Nobody appreciates my brilliance."

"I do," Teddy grinned. He kissed Tommy on the cheek. "You are a lifesaver."

"Ugh, seriously? A handshake would have been better."

Tommy pushed Teddy off of him, rubbing his cheek roughly. "I'm going to need to disinfect my face with bleach now. You don't have _cooties_ do you? Have you had all your shots?"

It was the typical over-reaction that Teddy had come to expect from Tommy. Any sign of affection was met with playful disgust. He'd learned that was Tommy's way of dealing with emotions. Teddy didn't mind. It was just Tommy-speak for "I care for you, too".

"Before you escape to your room and your disinfectant shower, I need you to do me a favor."

The skeptical look deepened on Tommy's face. "What sort of favor?"

"Nothing big," Teddy replied, the grin on his face genuine and sincere. "I just need you to greet Billy when he arrives and tell him to come up to the roof."

"The roof?" Tommy looked even more suspicious. "Theres nothing up there. Are you sure you were listening to me earlier? There won't be clowns, will there?"

"No, no, no clowns," Teddy said. "Just trust me, ok?

"Fine, I'll trust you," Tommy agreed, even though he still looked uncertain. "What time is he supposed to arrive because I am not sacrificing my evening to play waiter for you two dorks."

"He'll be here at six. You don't have to stick around any later than that. It will be five, ten minutes tops."

"Whatever," Tommy shrugged, a clear sign that he was done with this conversation. He turned around and headed to his room, leaving Teddy alone with his plans. And there were plans now. His mind was bursting full of ideas. It was exactly the kick in the pants he needed. 

Saturday arrived cold, crisp and with reports that snow was on the way. Teddy didn’t mind the weather report. A little snow wasn’t going to stop him now, not after he had everything in place. It wasn’t about being perfect, he reminded himself as he strung up the last row of lights. It was simple and entirely focused on the two of them together. That was all Teddy needed to show Billy. It wasn’t about them as separate people, but about them as a unit - leaning on each other. It was something he had forgotten for too long. He just hoped that Billy would understand.

As six rolled around, the sky grew cloudy and the air temperature dropped. Teddy waited on the roof, his scarf wrapped tightly around his neck as he waited for Billy, wondering if Tommy had remembered his promise. He didn’t have to wait long. At five after, the door to the roof opened slowly and Billy peeked his head out, looking around nervously.

“Tommy said I should come up here,” he said warily. “He said something about clowns…”

Teddy laughed and shook his head. “I promise, there aren’t any clowns up here. Just us.”

Billy opened the door wider and stepped out, his hands pressed inside the pockets of his tweed peacoat. He shivered as he walked over to Teddy, his expression a mixture of curiosity and bewilderment. “What’s up?” he asked. “Why are we out here? I thought we were heading out.”

“We are,” Teddy said warmly. “It’s just I thought of something a little different than a simple dinner and drink date. Come here. I want to show you something.”

Teddy gestured over his shoulder. A small, glass structure lit from the inside stood out against the dark evening sky. It was a greenhouse, one that Teddy had discovered his first month they moved in. It had looked unruly and abandoned, covered in dead plants and debris. But Teddy had taken to visiting the little greenhouse more and more often, fixing it up so that it was a little greener on the inside. Surrounded by green ferns and hanging perennials was an iron wrought table and chairs, a small bowl with three tea lights in the center of the table. He watched Billy as he looked at the greenhouse, noticing how his eyes widened a bit when he stepped inside and noticed it was much warmer.

“This… isn't what I was expecting when you invited me on a date,” Billy said. A ball of tension tightened in Teddy’s stomach. It hadn't occurred to him that Billy might not like the date. His shoulders slumped a little and he bit the corner of his lip.

“Well, we've been everywhere in the city. I thought something we've never done before would be a good first date. As far as I remember, we've never had dinner in a greenhouse, so…”

“No, T, you don’t have to explain,” Billy smiled. “It’s better than I imagined. You just surprised me, that’s all. This is good.”

“Good,” Teddy said, the ball of tension releasing. “I've a few space heaters on reserve if it starts to get too cold in here. It’s supposed to snow tonight.”

“Tell me about it,” Billy groaned. “I never thought I’d be so _sick_ of snow. The piles outside the dorms are getting to be ridiculous. I think they’re starting to be taller than I am.”

“That can’t be much, then,” Teddy teased, unbuttoning his coat. 

“Are you implying that I’m short?” Billy scoffed. He playfully scowled at Teddy, crossing his arms over his chest. Teddy couldn't help but smile.

“Not at all,” he replied, falling into the easy back and forth that he’d missed for so long. “I only suggest that you’re vertically challenged. Don’t worry - you’re still cute in spite of your deformity.”

“Oh, it’s a deformity now,” Billy said, tossing his head so that his hair flipped from his face and he stood a bit taller. “Well, if you’re going to insult me on our date maybe I should just head back to school.”

“That’s a shame,” Teddy continued. “I suppose it was a good try while it lasted. I’ll just have to eat the entire pizza by myself and eat through my sorrow.”

“Pizza?” Billy’s arms dropped and the pretend indignity faded away to be replaced by genuine curiosity. “Is it from Ray’s?”

“Would it be from anywhere else?” Teddy laughed, shrugging his coat off his shoulders. He tossed it over the back of one of the chairs, walking over to one of the long tables that he’d cleared of potted plants. Two large pizza boxes sat on top of each other next to a bottle of Chianti. A white box with a red ribbon was set down closer to the windows in an attempt to keep the box cool and away from the warmth of the pizza.

Billy followed Teddy, a bright smile appearing on his face. “I've been _dreaming_ of this pizza. I tried to tell Jamie and JJ that nothing really compares but I don’t think they get it. You have to be from the city to understand that we _get_ pizza. What’s in the white box?”

“A surprise,” Teddy said. “Sit down. Relax. We've all night to get to the white box.” He reached over and pressed play on his iPod that he had set up. Soft, modern music surrounded them. Billy sat at the table, unbuttoning his own coat as he made himself comfortable. 

“You've thought of everything,” Billy observed.

“Maybe not everything,” Teddy shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I had such a difficult time thinking of something for us to do. We've been everywhere in the city and I wanted something special.”

“Is that why Tommy warned me about clowns?”

Teddy laughed, carrying over the slices of pizza and setting a plate down in front of Billy. “It was a failed idea. I was over thinking this - over thinking us. Tommy had to kick me to put things back into perspective.”

“Tommy did that?” Billy said, his fingers tracing the circles on the top of the table. 

“He’s more observant that I give him credit for,” Teddy pointed out. He poured two glasses of red wine and placed one in front of Billy. “He called me an idiot. It helped.”

“So eloquent,” Billy snickered. “But he gets the point across. If you were thinking of bringing clowns to the date then you were being an idiot.”

“I was,” Teddy agreed. He sat down across from Billy, the glow from the candles creating a softness to Billy’s features. It added to the warmth of Billy’s smile. “I was too focused on making sure that the things around us were special when I should have realized that it’s _us_ that makes the evening, or afternoon, or even morning a memory worth remembering. We’re what makes the moment wonderful.”

Billy was quiet, his eyes filled with emotion as he reached across the table to touch Teddy’s hand. “Yes,” he said softly, squeezing Teddy’s fingers. There was a long moment filled with unspoken words that echoed around them. Teddy smiled at Billy, turning his hand over and threading his fingers with Billy’s own. He didn’t know how long they sat like that, existing in the one beautiful point in time. The gap between them grew even smaller and Teddy could feel them growing closer. Why had he even dared to risk this? He clung to this small breath of air like a man who had forgotten how to breathe until he was on the verge of suffocating. He needed this, needed Billy, and he hoped that desire was written on his face for the words were stuck in his throat.

The moment passed and Billy untangled their fingers, giving Teddy a shy sort of smile before clearing his throat. “We should really eat before it gets cold.”

“Right, pizza,” Teddy said, returning the smile. 

The minutes slipped by them in a blur. They talked as they hadn’t in a long time. The phone calls had only been an appetizer to the feast of words that poured out of them. The world around them slipped away as they reconnected, filling in the breaks in time while they were apart. Teddy told Billy all about his classes and the moment he knew that this was the right choice for him. He described his projects and the feedback he’d received from his professors. He talked about his job, going all the way back to October when he’d first started working at the coffee shop. It felt so nice not to walk on eggshells, constantly analyzing each word to gather the hidden meaning behind them. Teddy realized how _tiring_ it had all been and the weight lifted off his shoulders, making him feel as though he could float away.

The candles had burned down low by the time Teddy brought the white box to the table. Billy slipped the ribbon off the top and opened it, his eyes widening as he saw what was inside. “Is that a cheesecake from Juniors?” he asked. “I've been _dying_ for this!”

“I thought you might like that,” Teddy grinned.

“I’m not kidding. Even more than the pizza, people just don’t get cheesecake,” Billy said passionately. 

“There’s enough there to bring back to Boston if you want.”

“Are you kidding? This one is all mine. Jamie and JJ are going to have to fight me for a piece,” Billy laughed. “But, I guess you can have a slice since you were the one who bought it in the first place.”

“You are the picture of generosity,” Teddy mused.

Billy stuck his tongue out at him. “You know that’s twice you've insulted me on this date. You’re losing some serious points for that.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Teddy grinned, sliding his plate over to Billy. 

“It’s a risky game you play” he said, taking out one of the pre-cut slices and placing it on Teddy’s plate. “Are you sure you have enough points to wager?”

“I’m certain my saving roll will be enough to keep me from failing the encounter,” Teddy replied, his voice serious even though he was smiling.

Billy laughed, shaking his head. “You are such a doof.”

“And you love-”

Teddy stopped, tripping over the word. He hurriedly put a piece of cheesecake in his mouth but the damage had been done. The unspoken phrase hung in the air like a black cloud preparing to ruin the light, happy atmosphere. Teddy could see the change in Billy’s body language instantly. His shoulders tensed and curled closer to his body as if to protect Billy from the hurt of that one particular word. Teddy mentally cursed himself for being so careless. It was much too soon and he hoped he hadn't gone and spoiled the entire evening.

He swallowed the bit of cheesecake and changed the subject, prompting Billy to tell him about Jamie and JJ and all of their misadventures. Billy’s voice was guarded at first but slowly the word was forgotten as he grew more animated in his re-telling of walking in on Jamie and JJ as they were having sex.

“It was so embarrassing,” Billy said, putting his hand on his forehead. “I didn’t see much but it was pretty clear what was going on. JJ couldn't look at me for a week after that. All I could picture was her bra…”

“That’s what you were thinking about?” Teddy asked. 

“It was so strange,” Billy replied. “It had a picture of the periodic table on each side with one element highlighted. Whenever I looked at her all I could see was this white bra with the symbol “Ta” in bold.”

It took Teddy a confused moment, pondering the symbols over in his head before it struck him. “She had Ta-Ta written on her chest?” he coughed.

“The moment I figured it out I started to burst out laughing. At first, she thought I was laughing at _her_. It took an uncomfortable few days before I could explain that I was amused at the sheer geekiness of her clothes then anything else.”

“Your friends,” Teddy chuckled. “They are pretty special.”

“They are,” Billy said warmly. “I don’t know what I would do without them. They make me feel normal. Is that weird?”

“No,” Teddy shook his head. “Of course not. That’s what we all want. A little piece of a normal life, something that breaks up the constant fight to save the world against whatever super-villain has decided to destroy it this week.”

“Yeah,” Billy said, taking the last bite of his cheesecake. He sounded wistful, almost sad. “Sometimes I wish it would last. I keep waiting for the moment when it all comes crashing down, you know? When we’ll be swept up in the next Civil War or Mother or whatever happens that will interrupt our lives for another year. It’s always in the back of my mind.”

Billy sat back in his chair and turned his head. Teddy followed his gaze. Outside the windows of the greenhouse the snow had started to fall. A layer of white coated the tinted glass, foggy condensation beading against the cold surface. 

“I wonder if Jamie and JJ will make it through the next catastrophe,” Billy continues softly. “I know it’s stupid to worry about something I can’t control - well, something I _shouldn't_ control because, let’s be real, I could protect them simply by wanting it. I could make it so that they would live forever - rewrite the laws of nature for my selfish desire of not letting anyone else suffer for my mistakes. It would be so easy…”

Teddy remained quiet. It was the first time he’d heard Billy talk about the enormity of his powers. The Demiurge - the one who is destined to rewrite the laws of magic and change everything. That was Billy’s fate. It was difficult for Teddy to completely wrap his head around what that all meant. He knew Billy was powerful just as he knew that the Earth, the Sun and all the stars and worlds in the universe were held together by a powerful force. But to say he understood gravity would be an understatement - he accepted that it existed, yet it was such an abstract that he couldn't start to unravel all of its mystery. It was the same with Billy’s ability - he knew it was great and terrifying, but he would never completely understand what it felt like to have that sort of power at his fingertips. The temptation to use it must be frighteningly hard to fight.

“But I don’t,” Billy said, a sad smile crossing his face as he turned to look back at Teddy. “I know what happens when I try to use my magic to fix my problems. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Teddy reached across the table and took Billy’s hand into his. For the first time since Mother came into their lives Teddy could see the impact it had on Billy. To know that it was his magic that had caused it and all because he wanted to make Teddy happy - the fear of it happening again was written on Billy’s face. Teddy squeezed Billy’s hand gently.

“You won’t,” he said. 

Billy sighed and looked down at their joined hands. “I hope you’re right,” he whispered. Teddy had to wonder if Billy meant for him to hear those words.

A familiar beat caught Teddy’s attention. The music that had gone unnoticed until that moment suddenly drifted through the air as though it was orchestrated to fit perfectly. Teddy smiled as the lyrics seemed to describe his every word that lay silent in his heart. He stood up and tugged gently at Billy’s arm.

“Dance with me,” he said.

“What?” Billy gave Teddy a strange look as though this was the last thing he had expected Teddy to say.

“Dance with me,” he repeated. “Please?”

If Billy was going to protest it easily died on his lips the moment he became aware of the music. He smiled, the sad expression erased by the song. “Ok,” he said, standing up and following Teddy as he stepped away from the table.

Teddy wrapped his arm around Billy’s waist and pulled him close, falling easily in time to the music. Billy’s hand rested on Teddy’s shoulder, shaking his head slowly as he moved with Teddy. “I find it a little telling that you’re leading.”

“Shhh,” Teddy said. “My date, I get to lead. Next date we’ll switch."

“Mmmhmm,” Billy murmured. “You’re so certain we’ll have a second date. Your confidence is staggering.”

“Ask me after this dance,” Teddy said, pulling Billy even closer so that they were practically cheek to cheek. He could feel Billy catch his breath. It felt so much like their very first date that the nostalgia hung heavy around them. They swayed silently to the music, letting the song do all of the talking for them. The heat inside the little greenhouse seemed to grow the longer they danced leaving streaks on the windows from the droplets as they fell. The snow grew thicker outside capturing them in a snow globe. Teddy felt Billy’s hands brush up against the back of his neck. He smiled, leaning his forehead down against Billy’s own. Not for the first time he wondered how he could possibly think of existing without Billy in his arms. This felt _right_ and altogether perfect. 

The last few notes of the song drifted away and still they danced, caught in a trance. The steps grew slower as the simple dance began to grow into something more. Teddy slipped his hand from Billy’s own to touch Billy’s face. His eyes dipped to Billy’s lips and he saw Billy lick them instinctively. He looked back up to meet Billy’s eyes before he tilted his head and kissed Billy gently on the lips.

Magic. Teddy could feel it spark through him as blue light danced across Billy’s fingertips. He was sure his hair was standing on end as Billy curled up into the kiss. It was better than Teddy could have hoped for. The sweet press of their lips brought back so many memories of the first few months they had dated. The butterflies of a new and exciting love roared back into life. He smiled, content to have the simple embrace until Billy’s tongue brushed against his bottom lip and all innocence and light disappeared as a different emotion rushed to take it’s place.

Teddy parted his lips, deepening the kiss into something much more seductive and sensual. This wasn't the kiss of two people discovering each other for the first time. This was something much more advanced. It was the kiss of desire, of holding back for far too long and _wanting_ what had been denied. They may have agreed to take things slowly but their bodies seemed to think otherwise as Billy’s fingers instinctively tangled in Teddy’s hair.

A quiet moan drifted up Teddy’s throat just as his arm tightened around Billy’s waist. The sound seemed to cut through the haze of the dream and bring them back to reality. Billy’s hand slipped back to Teddy’s shoulder and he pushed Teddy back, breaking the kiss. Cool air burst between them, giving them a chance to catch their breath. Billy’s cheeks were red, his lips wet from their kiss. Teddy knew that he looked equally as wanting and he struggled to pull himself under control.

“I… I think I should be heading home,” Billy said, clearing his throat. 

“Yeah,” Teddy agreed, shaking his head dumbly even though the world seemed to be pleasantly spinning. “It’s getting late and the snow is really picking up.”

“Right.”

They stood opposite each other for a brief beat of time. Perhaps in another universe they had thrown caution into the wind and finished what had clearly been started in the dance. Teddy could almost feel his body moving as if guided by an invisible force but Billy broke the illusion, picking up his coat and slipping it on his shoulders abruptly.

“I had a great time,” he said, desperately trying to find that first date happy medium. 

“So did I,” Teddy agreed. 

“Good, I’m glad.”

They were awkward and stilted once more. Neither really seemed to know the best way to bring the night to a close. Teddy picked up the box from the table and offered it to Billy, doing his best to move things along. “Don’t forget to bring this home with you.”

“Oh, right, yes, thanks,” Billy said with a nervous laugh. He took the box into his arms, holding it almost protectively in front of him. It was as though the cheesecake was a barrier. Nothing more could happen or else they would crush the cheesecake and that would just be unforgivable. 

“So… I guess I’ll be on my way,” Billy continued, backing away slowly to the front of the greenhouse.  
“Call me when you get home,” Teddy said. If he was being honest he didn’t really want Billy to leave. “Or text or… you know…”

“I will, I will,” Billy nodded, still moving towards the door. He bumped into the glass, the box nearly falling from his arms. His clumsiness made Teddy remember about the time they had spent together before they had dated. Billy had been adorably bumbly then - practically tripping over his own feet.

“Ok, well, I’ll see you later,” Billy said once he righted himself and managed to find the handle to the door. 

“Ok, see you,” Teddy said. “For our second date I’ll come up to Boston, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Billy said instinctively. “I mean… we’ll talk about it later.”

Teddy grinned. “Right,” he said, doing his best to hide his grin. Oh, yes, this was all too familiar and it made him incredibly happy.

“Right,” Billy repeated. He was stuck in the old loop of repeating the last thing Teddy had said. It was adorable and brought back pleasant memories. “Ok. Really leaving this time.”

He paused for one last moment and gave Teddy a final grin before he stepped out into the snowy evening. Teddy watched as Billy disappeared in a burst of blue light, leaving him alone in the greenhouse. He sat down at the iron wrought table and saw the fluffy, blue edge of Billy’s scarf still hanging from his chair. Billy had been so distracted that he had forgotten it. Teddy picked up the scarf and held it close, hugging it to his chest as he laughed.

As far as first dates go, this one was by far the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** The song that Billy and Teddy are dancing to is based off of Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud"
> 
> [Youtube - Thinking Out Loud video ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA)


	10. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re sure,” he whispered, leaning down to press a feather light kiss to the curve of Billy’s jaw. Billy sighed softly, his hands sliding down Teddy’s arms. He picked up Teddy’s hand and brought his fingertips to his mouth, licking them softly. Teddy shuddered, shifting his legs to press his now aching arousal to Billy’s hips.
> 
> “Completely,” Billy said. Teddy could feel Billy’s lips curl into a smile against his fingertips and it was all the permission he needed. There was only one thing that would make this so much better.
> 
> “Bedroom,” he growled against Billy’s skin, biting his neck playfully. “I’m not having sex covered in Tommy’s Frito crumbs.”
> 
> Billy laughed loudly, dropping Teddy’s hand from his mouth. “Good point,” he snickered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get to the explicit part of the rating. Far more fluffy than New Year's Eve. If you're looking for fun boys, this is your chapter.
> 
> Not many more chapters to go! We are just about winding down. One last hurdle for Billy and Teddy to jump before they get their happy ending. Stay tuned!

** March **

 

The television was on with the sound down low. Tommy was gone for the night, maybe for the week, who really knew when it came to Tommy. There was little doubt in Teddy’s mind that Tommy was going to keep his distance from the apartment. He knew that it was Billy and Teddy’s third date and Tommy had given Teddy a strange little wink which seemed to allude to _something_ but Teddy didn’t want to get his hopes up. Everything was going perfect between him and Billy the last few weeks and he didn’t want to jinx it by moving too fast.

Of course, he didn’t have to worry about that since it was Billy who had slid his hand into Teddy’s hair, pulling his attention away from _Sharknado_. Teddy couldn’t say he was really sorry to miss the terrible movie part of their terrible movie date, not when he had Billy’s lips on his and Billy’s tongue in his mouth.

Teddy shifted his body, pressing Billy back against the cushions of the couch. His leg was sinking between the cushions and he was sure they were tipping the popcorn bowl onto the floor but he didn’t really care; not when Billy’s mouth was crushed to his own. They hadn’t made out like this in ages and it was all Teddy could do from taking it a step further. His hands rested on Billy’s hips as he drank in the soft sounds that Billy was making. The heat from Billy’s body radiated through Teddy and with they way they were tangled around each other he knew Billy could feel how hard he was. After what felt like hours (even though it was probably only a few moments since Teddy caught a glimpse of a flying shark on the television), Teddy broke their kiss, panting for air as he pushed himself up. 

“Why did you stop?” Billy asked, his lips swollen and his eyes far too dark that it made heat pool low in Teddy’s belly. 

“Because,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to Billy’s damp forehead. “We’re going a bit hot. And I need to catch my breath.”

Billy laughed softly, his fingers tangling in Teddy’s hair. “Are you telling me I’ve left you breathless?”

“Something like that,” Teddy smiled. He needed to untangle himself from Billy or else he’d fall into another heated kiss. Billy grabbed his upper arm and shook his head.

“Don’t,” he breathed, arching his back up so that he could wrap his arms around Teddy’s shoulders. “Kiss me again.”

“Billy…” Teddy said. “Kissing you like that and I want to do so much more.”

“Then do it,” Billy replied, sucking on his bottom lip in a way that Teddy found far too mesmerizing. 

“Here?” Teddy asked. “On the couch?”

“If you don’t touch me soon I might just lose it,” Billy groaned, closing his eyes and arching his neck in that delicious way that made Teddy want to lick his way down. How could he possibly say no to this? Teddy wanted to pinch himself to make sure this wasn’t a dream, that he’d wake up alone in his own sweat soaked sheets. But the memory of New Years popped into his head and he hesitated. 

“You’re sure,” he whispered, leaning down to press a feather light kiss to the curve of Billy’s jaw. Billy sighed softly, his hands sliding down Teddy’s arms. He picked up Teddy’s hand and brought his fingertips to his mouth, licking them softly. Teddy shuddered, shifting his legs to press his now aching arousal to Billy’s hips.

“Completely,” Billy said. Teddy could feel Billy’s lips curl into a smile against his fingertips and it was all the permission he needed. There was only one thing that would make this so much better.

“Bedroom,” he growled against Billy’s skin, biting his neck playfully. “I’m not having sex covered in Tommy’s Frito crumbs.”

Billy laughed loudly, dropping Teddy’s hand from his mouth. “Good point,” he snickered. Teddy pushed himself up, dragging Billy with him. He knocked into the coffee table and crunched through the scattered popcorn but he barely noticed. The moment they were both standing he pulled BIlly against him, kissing him hard as they stumbled through the living room. 

They reached the door to his bedroom. Instead of walking through, Teddy pressed Billy up against the wall, pinning his arms to his side. Billy made a surprised sound and turned his face to the side to break the searing kiss.

“What-?” he breathed but the sound turned into a moan as Teddy’s lips began sliding down Billy’s neck. Teddy had wanted to do this for so long that he didn’t respond. He kept Billy’s wrists against the wall as he slowly slid down Billy’s body. The only time he released Billy’s hand was to lift his shirt, pressing warm kisses to his belly.

“Fuck, Teddy,” Billy hissed, his newly freed hands moving to Teddy’s head. Teddy’s lips curled into a smile as he kneeled in front of Billy, closing his eyes as he felt Billy’s fingers slip through his hair. Billy was like a drug, intoxicating and sweet. Teddy was mesmerized by the pull of his hair, tiny tugs that urged him on as he unzipped Billy’s far too tight jeans and pulled them down. He took his time, letting his tongue trace the delicate line of soft hair from Billy’s navel to the elastic band of his underwear, teasing Billy’s cock with feather light brushes.

Billy whimpered, his hands clenching into fists and pulling Teddy’s hair more urgently. Teddy gritted his teeth hard, abandoning the teasing touches for a far more rough and hurried approach. It was so easy to tell what Billy wanted. Teddy could read his body movements, even the pitch of his voice meant something. Go faster, move slower, touch me, lick me, _fuck_ me - it was all wrapped in the way Billy twisted his body. Even when his mouth was too busy moaning to form proper words, Teddy could read him like a book.

Teddy took little time pushing Billy’s boxer briefs low enough to free Billy’s arousal. Teddy ran his tongue up the underside, listening to BIlly’s moans grow deeper. He glanced up to Billy’s face and watched as his mouth dropped open, his eyes squeezed shut the moment he sucked Billy’s cock between his wet lips, taking him deep without hesitation.

“God…” Billy said, the rest lost in a shout as Teddy sucked him hard, not giving him a chance to catch his breath. Billy’s hands were so tight in his hair that Teddy wouldn’t have been surprised to find large strands still captured in Billy’s hair when they were through. But Teddy didn’t care. He had Billy pinned against the wall making sounds that he hadn’t heard in so long. He savored every minute, every slide of his tongue and pull of his lips.

It didn’t take long before he felt Billy tense beneath him, his body trembling like a live wire. Teddy had shifted his tongue, texturizing it in a way he knew Billy loved and was about to put all his effort into tipping Billy over the edge when he felt a different pull on his hair. Teddy looked up and paused his movements, giving Billy a moment to catch his breath.

Billy’s cheeks were flushed red, his lips bitten and wet as he gasped for air. For a moment, Teddy thought perhaps he had gone too far. Billy’s hands softened and slid down his face in a gentle caress. Teddy opened his mouth to speak when Billy grabbed the front of Teddy’s shirt and pulled him up to his feet. Teddy’s back was suddenly against the wall, Billy’s leg between his own, pressing up hard against his own aching arousal. He groaned, a sound that was instantly swallowed by Billy’s rough lips against his own. 

It was such a shift that Teddy felt a bit off balance, trying to keep up with the hard kiss that left him dizzy. Billy tore his lips away and leaned up against Teddy’s ear, sucking in a studded earlobe before hissing, “I want to come inside of you, but not your mouth.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Teddy moaned, pressing his hips back against Billy’s leg. He didn’t have time to think before BIlly was pulling him away from the wall and pushing him into the bedroom. They were five steps from the bed before they tripped, falling onto the mattress and tearing off their clothes in a desperate frenzy. 

Teddy’s shirt became stuck as he tried to pull it over his head, leaving him floundering on the bed. He could hear Billy laughing, the sound deep and husky from their kisses. It made him smile, even though he grew more frustrated as he somehow forgot how his shirt worked, leaving him blind with his shirt over his head.

“I’m glad you find this funny,” Teddy said, his voice muffled from behind the thin cotton.

“I do,” Billy said, unapologetic. “But now, I can do this…”

Cool fingers slid down Teddy’s chest chased by the warm, wet slide of Billy’s tongue. Teddy couldn’t see what Billy was doing and was helpless to stop as his hands were caught up inside the suddenly too small t-shirt. Billy’s lips brushed against his nipple making Teddy catch his breath. Billy sucked Teddy’s nipple into his mouth, letting his teeth add a sharp edge to the sensation. Teddy gave a small yelp as he finally managed to tear the shirt away from his face. Billy was grinning down at him, a curious look as he searched Teddy’s face to read his reaction.

“Too much?”

“Never,” Teddy growled, pulling Billy down and rolling him onto his back, covering him with kisses. He playfully lifted Billy’s shirt and pulled it up just enough so that Billy’s lips and nose were exposed, leaving his eyes blindfolded and his arms caught above his head. Billy’s lips curled up into an amused grin.

“I didn’t know you were so kinky,” he said with a flirty slide to his voice.

“You do crazy things to me,” Teddy laughed, kissing Billy softly. “You’re such a bad influence.”

“I make good boys go bad,” Billy replied. 

“So bad,” Teddy agreed, kissing Billy’s chin and trailing his lips down as he returned to tasting every inch of his body. Billy wiggled beneath him, his moans mixed with laughter as he fought to free his hands. Teddy kept him trapped, taking his time. The urgency was still there but it had dissolved into something playful and far more intimate. This was what they had been missing. For over a year they had been so out of step with each other. Even when they had slept with each other it had been more about getting off than enjoying each other’s body. This felt _normal_ , this was _right_ and another little piece of what was lost fell back into place.

“T?” Billy asked, pulling Teddy from his thoughts. “Is everything ok? You stopped.”

Teddy pulled the shirt from Billy’s head and ran his thumb against Billy’s cheek. “I was just thinking,” he said.

“Well stop it,” Billy demanded, smacking Teddy on the shoulder. “You shouldn’t be able to think when you’re in bed with me.”

“Then I guess you’re going to have to make me.” 

The look on Billy’s face told Teddy that the challenge had been accepted. For the second time Teddy found himself surprised at the intensity that Billy must have been keeping hidden. In a few short moments he was on his back, Billy making quick work of tugging off his jeans. He lay there naked beneath Billy, anxious excitement building in his chest. Billy straddled his hips, his eyes bright as he looked down at Teddy.

Teddy drank in the sight of Billy’s body. His hair was longer and messier, his shoulders that were normally sharply angled looked more broad as strong muscles were defined beneath the skin. He would always have a thin build but there was strength there, far more than anyone could ever see beneath Billy’s traditional hoodie and tight jeans attire. Gone was the awkward boy, replaced by a body that had been through the fire, tested in war and pushed to the limit.

“You’re beautiful,” Teddy said, unable to stop his words. Billy’s cheeks flushed, unusually flustered by the compliment. Teddy was reminded of their first time, all awkward and hesitant touches, trying to figure out exactly what the other wanted. This time, the movements were practiced but the words brought them back to beginning. For a moment, Teddy was afraid he’d said too much, pushed Billy away from the heated present into the more complicated past. But then Billy’s hand wrapped around his cock and all thought was driven from Teddy’s mind.

“You’re one to talk,” Billy replied, lazily stroking Teddy, fingers sliding up the hard arousal, his thumb sliding across the tip. “Every time I see you I want to rip your clothes off.”

“They’re off now,” Teddy moaned softly, arching his hips up into Billy’s hand. Warm desire wrapped around his body, driving his need into a fever pitch. He clung onto enough of his senses to stretch his arm out and pull open the drawer on his night stand. Fingers searched for the familiar bottle that had lain mostly unused except for the odd night alone. Teddy pulled the bottle out and pushed it down towards Billy, biting his lower lip as Billy’s fingers drifted lower and teased the tight ring of muscle below his balls.

Billy laughed, picking up the bottle. “Eager much?”

“You’re the one who wanted to finish inside of me,” Teddy smiled down at him. “Just being helpful.”

“Oh so helpful,” Billy chuckled, bending down to place a kiss just below Teddy’s navel. The scruff on his chin brushed against the sensitive skin just on the inside of Teddy’s thigh, making him shudder pleasantly. All of the teasing was winding him up, making him feel like a guitar string that was too tight. 

“Please…” Teddy begged softly, his fingers tangling in the sheets beneath them. Billy moaned deeply, a visible shudder running through his body.

“Fuck… I could come just from your voice like that.”

“Not yet,” Teddy whimpered. “I’ll talk dirty to you all you want after but right now I need you inside me.”

Billy groaned again. “God, T, I’ve wanted to hear you say that for so long…”

Teddy pushed himself up, pulling Billy into his lap. He kissed him slowly, letting his tongue slide languidly against his lips before tipping Billy’s head back. His hand drifted into both of their laps, wrapping his broad palm around both of their cocks, sliding them together in a way that made his head spin. Billy made a wanton sound in the back of his throat, suddenly losing the aggression and pressing his hips into Teddy’s hand, letting Teddy take the lead. The easy strokes pulled them back into the easy rhythm that had defined their earlier relationship. First one would take control, then the other. They switched roles so effortlessly that it was impossible to tell who was in charge. 

Teddy pulled kiss swollen lips away from Billy’s mouth, sliding to the side of Billy’s neck, being careful to avoid his ears. It was a hot spot for him but Billy always pulled away - bad memories - but his neck… oh, now that was one of Billy’s sensitive areas. He nipped at the curve of Billy’s shoulder, adding a touch of pressure to his strokes.

“I want you to put me on my stomach,” he whispered, knowing Billy was listening intently. “Slide your tongue between my ass before pressing your fingers inside of me. I want you to take me until I come.”

Billy’s cock twitched in his hand. When he lifted his head, Billy’s eyes were dark and there was a knowing smile on his lips. Teddy gave their arousals one last stroke before Billy pushed him back onto the bed. He kissed Teddy hard, making them both breathless for a moment. Billy sat back, giving Teddy the chance to slide over onto his belly, inching down on the bed. 

“For a sweet boy, you have a wicked mouth, Theodore Altman,” Billy mused.

“Hidden talents,” Teddy grinned, moaning as he felt Billy’s lips press against his lower back. “No one would ever believe the words that come out of my mouth when we’re in bed.”

“A man of mystery. I like it.”

Teddy wanted to reply that he wasn’t mysterious, just a typical horny guy between the sheets but Billy’s tongue slid down and circled his entrance, turning all of the words into muffled moans. It had been nearly a year since Billy had licked him there and it was so difficult to hold back as the sensation pushed him so close. All of the foreplay had left him precariously on the edge. Teddy only hoped that he’d be able to last longer than a few thrusts.

Cool, slick fingertips replaced the warm tongue as Billy began to press past the tight ring of muscle. Teddy gritted his teeth as he shifted, letting the gradual stretching happen faster than normal. Billy kissed his lower back once more.

“You’re shaking, T,” he said, slowly adding a second digit.

“It’s been awhile,” Teddy admitted. “And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about this often.”

Billy was quiet for a moment, his fingers curling and pressing up against the sensitive spot inside. Teddy shuddered again, his breath coming in strangled gasps as bright flashes of light burst before his eyes. He was so _close_ that it almost wasn’t fair.

“So have I,” Billy admitted. The tone of his voice was soft, almost sad. Teddy wanted to ask him if something was wrong but he didn’t get the chance. Billy’s fingers slid out and were replaced by the tip of Billy’s cock. Teddy forgot to breathe as the dull, pleasant ache spread out through his lower body. He pressed back, easily taking Billy into him. Billy hissed as he pushed into Teddy, pausing for a moment to enjoy the feeling of being surrounded by Teddy’s body. He reached down and circled his hand around Teddy’s hard cock, leaning down to kiss Teddy’s back.

“Fuck,” Teddy whispered. “Please, B… I need…”

Billy didn’t answer. He bit Teddy’s shoulder lightly as he pulled back and thrust up, making Teddy cry out. The hand around Teddy’s cock tightened at the base, holding back his orgasm even as it threatened to crash down around him. Teddy arched back against Billy, his body so tense that he felt he was going to break if Billy didn’t hold onto him. With each thrust, the sensations spiralled higher, making him feel wild and out of control. Still, Billy’s hand squeezing him just above his balls kept him leashed. His hands gripped hard at the sheets, not really caring that he felt them begin to tear beneath his fingertips.

The bedroom was filled with the sounds of their sex, moans and cries ringing out only to be met with another chorus. Teddy didn’t know how long they tangled on the bed. It felt like an eternity and yet not long enough. But the edge that he had been teetering on threatened to break and he cried out loudly, urging, begging Billy until he felt Billy’s hand slip from his cock, angling his thrust to hit _there_ and the wave crashed, his tense body snapping as pleasure rushed over him.

His body tightened around Billy and after a few more thrusts Teddy felt Billy’s cock pulse inside of him. Billy collapsed on Teddy’s back, his arms wrapping around Teddy’s large chest. They stayed there, the room suddenly quiet with only their breaths echoing around them. Teddy rested his head on the bed, his hands sliding up to rest on top of Billy’s. He lifted Billy’s hand to his lips and kissed them softly. 

“That was incredible,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Mmmm,” was Billy’s response as he squeezed Teddy in a hug. 

“Mmm?” Teddy chuckled. He wanted to turn around and see Billy’s face but Billy was still inside of him making it a bit difficult to change positions. “Have I made you speechless?”

“Words. Difficult. Hush.”

Teddy grinned and settled back against Billy’s chest. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Billy shifted, his softened arousal slipping out of Teddy. Teddy was able to turn, then, and notice as Billy spread out on the bed, a satisfied smile on his face. “You should,” Billy murmured. He touched the sheet and pulled it up, turning his head sideways as a good portion of sheet was left on the bed leaving the corner in Billy’s hand. 

“I think I wrecked my sheets,” Teddy said sheepishly. 

Billy was quiet for a moment before he laughed, the joyful sound filling the room. “Oh, T,” Billy snickered warmly, pressing a kiss to the top of Teddy’s head. He continued to break out into giggles even after they settled in each others arms, slowly drifting off to sleep.

\---

A soft beeping sound pulled Teddy from his sleep. He usually woke before his alarm but this morning he was sleeping in far later than normal. The sound confused him and he fumbled blindly for his phone, pulling it towards his face, his bleary eyes blinking rapidly. The front of his phone illuminated his face with the white digital numbers: 8:15 a.m. Teddy swiped his fingers across the front screen, silencing the offending beep before collapsing onto the bed.

Images of the night before played in his memory, making him grin. Teddy couldn’t have asked for a better night. It was something he’d been wanting for a long time and the fact that it happened meant they were back to where they started. He had Billy back and all of the emptiness that threatened to tear them apart was gone. In spite of all the odds, he and Billy had made it through to the other side. 

Teddy reached out to pull Billy close, wanting to share his happy revelation, when he realized with a start that he was alone. A bolt of panic shot through his chest and he sat up quickly, the last remnants of sleep gone. His bedroom was dimly lit by the few beams of light that drifted in through the blinds but it was fairly obvious that he was the only occupant. No, Billy couldn’t have left him again. Last night had been nothing like New Year’s Day. They were good again, weren’t they? Had he completely misread the signs and only made things worse by sleeping with Billy far too early in their relationship?

Teddy’s stomach twisted uncomfortably as he slid out of bed, moving over to his dresser to pull on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt just in case Tommy had come home. The last thing he wanted was to meet Tommy naked as well as a broken heart. Teddy pushed the door to his bedroom open and shuffled over to the kitchen, his stomach feeling like lead. He sat at the table and sighed, the figure bent over the coffee pot whistling some tune softly. 

“How did you sleep?” the figure asked. Teddy winced instinctively, not really wanting to go into the sordid details of the previous night with Tommy.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Really?” Billy said, turning from the coffee pot with a mug of steaming hot java in his hand. “Seemed pretty uneventful from where I was laying. Although I forgot how you sometimes snore like a bear when you’re sound asleep.”

Teddy blinked in surprise. He’d assumed it had been Tommy in the kitchen. “You’re still here,” he said, reaching for the mug Billy had slid across the table towards him. 

“Well, yeah,” Billy replied, leaning against the counter. “Why, did you want me to leave?”

“No!” Teddy said quickly. “No, of course not. I just…. I had a bad dream that you weren’t here, that’s all.”

Billy sat down across from Teddy, placing his hand over Teddy’s and squeezing it warmly. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologized. “But, really, I’m surprised you didn’t notice when I got up. You’ve a death grip when you cuddle, T. You don’t mess around.”

“Hugging is serious business,” Teddy laughed, turning his hand so that he could thread his fingers with Billy’s. 

“I should get you a t-shirt with that on it,” Billy grinned. 

“What, is that going to be my hero catch phrase?”

“Mmmhmm,” Billy nodded. “Hulkling - Beware evil doers. Hugging is _serious business_.”

“That makes me sound like a giant Care Bear,” Teddy laughed, shaking his head. “You’re almost as bad as Tommy.”

“I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.”

“I said _almost_ so it’s a compliment,” Teddy said, sticking his tongue out at Billy. It was moments like this that he missed the most. Easy mornings, sitting around the table, drinking coffee and talking about nothing in particular. For what seemed the millionth time he wondered how he had ever let this slip away from him. Well, it was better now. The awkward tension was completely gone. Teddy was sure that Billy could feel it, too.

“By the way,” Teddy said, switching the subject suddenly. “End of term is coming up soon.”

“In a month or so,” Billy groaned. “Don’t remind me. I still have a giant paper for Philosophy to write. We’re supposed to do some sort of research on the meaning of the word ‘meaning’. Five pages! I’ve decided I won’t be a philosophy major if that’s what I have to look forward to.”

“Yeah, I can’t help you out with that one,” Teddy smiled. “But, um, the art department usually has a showcase of student work at the end of the semester. It’s usually for Seniors to show off their portfolios but the professors pick a few freshmen pieces to add to the show. I’ve been asked to submit two of my paintings. It’s nothing big…”

“What are you talking about?” Billy sputtered, excitement written on his face. “That’s incredible! See? I knew you had the talent. You’re on your way to becoming the next … guy who does art.”

Teddy flushed and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s really abstract. I took a page from Banksy - street art and doodles mostly. Apparently there’s an ‘other worldly’ aspect to it. They’re not really done yet anyway… something is missing.”

“If your professors think it’s worth showcasing then don’t second guess it,” Billy pointed out sagely. “You’re talented, T. No one is ever satisfied with their work, you know? I bet they look amazing.”

“Well, that’s sort of why I bring it up,” Teddy continued, feeling a bit nervous. He shouldn’t, he reminded himself. After last night there would be little doubt as to Billy’s answer.

“As part of the showcase I get another ticket for the opening night gala. Would you like to come with me?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Billy grinned. “When is it?”

“25th of April,” Teddy said. “It’s a Saturday. The exhibit is open until exams start in May.”

“Of course I’ll be there,” Billy said, reaching across the table and nudging Teddy’s shoulder affectionately. 

“Good,” Teddy smiled warmly. He leaned across the table and brushed his lips against Billy’s own. He tasted of bitter coffee and sweet cream which meant he must have already had a cup. Billy always had black coffee first thing in the morning before his sweet tooth kicked in.

“Ugh, don’t you losers have a room for that?” 

Tommy’s voice broke the peaceful moment. It was always the same with Tommy. He had this unnatural knack to interrupt them in the middle of a kiss. Teddy turned and smiled, knowing that Billy did the same. There must have been something in the way they both looked because Tommy immediately rolled his eyes and put his hands over his ears.

“Spare me the details,” he said. “Just promise me you didn’t have sex on my favorite couch.”

“How could we?” Teddy retorted. “We would have been covered in crumbs!”

“Then my evil plan succeeded,” Tommy said, flopping down on the couch. “Praise the almighty crumb repellent!”

Billy and Teddy glanced at each other before shaking their heads. It was a typical morning. Teddy only hoped that it was the first of many to come.


End file.
